Simon Brown

This movie is a national treasure, showcasing the very best ensemble America has to offer. Forget about Alec Baldwin and Boss Baby. Jason Statham does not hold back his talent at all here, and WOW, does it emanate from the screen whenever he does a kung fu backflip against those ninja orcs. Never have I seen the role of a farmer, named Farmer, be so brilliantly portrayed, whilst retaining such grace and composure. Burt Reynolds as King is at his sexiest he has ever been in years, I would say even sexier than when he was in The Legend of Frosty the Snowman. His charm exudes from his very presence in all directions, palpable to all those standing before him. Ray Liotta as the villain is genius and purely sublime. It is common knowledge that Liotta is well known for playing the archetypal baddie, but here, he elevates this role to the next level, quite literally. Watch as he floats around in mid-air majestically, his airborne skills are unmatched and must have required years of training, I don't believe that anyone else could be able to pull of this kind of skill other than Ray Liotta himself, it is as if he was born to play this very role. The CGI in this movie is unparalleled. Avatar 2 does not even compare to the special effect employed here, and could really take a few notes from their book. Both cinematography and music were truly innovative and inspirational. I left the comfort of my own home after watching this on my $200 14-inch plasma tv, with the knowledge that Uwe Boll is not only the greatest director in history, but the greatest being that ever lived, a true blessing to humanity. I believe that this will be the only instance where the Oscars will come to their senses and retroactively review this masterpiece, posthumously granting the multiple awards it most thoroughly deserves and usurping the position from No Country for Old Men. Without a doubt, this is the greatest piece of art that I will ever experience, and nothing will come close to matching it for a depressingly long time.