Christian Cook

I have seen bad movies. I have seen terrible movies. But I have never in my life seen a movie that made me question if I should ever watch another movie in my life again. That all came to a change about 2 hours ago when I began watching Hugo. I really don’t have a fair comparison of something that was as bad as this movie, so I won’t compare it to another movie. This reminded me of words from the wise Donald Trump, “Jeb Bush is a mistake! Jeb Bush is a mess! Jeb Bush is the weakest person on this stage by far! Jeb Bush is a waste, and everybody knows it! Jeb is so weak, it’s laughable. Jeb is a big fat mistake. I think if I rewrote this quote about Jeb and made it Hugo, it would flow beautifully. Hugo is a mistake. Hugo is a mess. Hugo robbed me of my time and I would expect a refund if it hadn’t been watched on my friends Netflix account.

Into the forest was truly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. From two middle aged women pretending to be teenagers to destroying the entirety of your possessions in a life or death situation, it was nothing but stupid and boring. Disappointed is an understatement. I can’t believe someone put this on Netflix and thought “this will be entertaining!” I literally waited on something to happen for an hour and 41 minutes and got left with nothing but a frown. This movie really should have been titled “15 months without electricity, middle aged women edition”. I truly cannot believe I took two shots to prepare for the most anticlimactic thriller that has ever come out, I would have got a bigger scare from the 1970s jaws. If you are reading this, do yourself a favor and watch anything, read anything, do anything, I mean ANYTHING, but spend an hour and 41 minutes watching this boring, sad, mindless, fake, stupid, misandrist version of a future apocalypse, an apocalypse that never gets explained.