Charlie O

The worst Marvel movie in existence. The writers behind this movie must have been working in a facility with a gas leak because the script makes zero sense. "An explosion that causes millennials to become the most powerful beings in the universe" if this concept was true wouldn't all of the people who were present during nuclear blasts be super heroes? Bad casting, lack luster dialogue, horrendous story. There was an especially awful scene of our hero in a dream state as Nirvana plays on vinyl to relax her and remind her of her childhood... maybe find a lead actress who was born before the grunge period ended? A major flop from our favorite super hero film makers.

Want to watch a movie filled with really bad attempts at a Russian accent, decent action sequences, and an ending like the writer and director quit before the movies completion? Well then Black Widow is the movie for you. Even David Harbour (whose performances I usually enjoy) struggles through his role in the movie. There is a lot of the classic dry, dead eyed, emotionless Scarlett Johansson acting. It is hard to think of a movie that Scarlett doesn't portray a rogue monotone Chuck-E-Cheese animatronics robot that mutters lines and then does extreme action scenes. If you think Gallagher is funny then you'll probably like the comedy in this movie... and I don't mean the comedian Gallagher, I'm talking about Noel Gallagher the musician. *SPOILER ALERT* The movie drops us off at the most random time in the pre End Game timeline with a lack luster opening score of a cover of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit. What I thought was going to be an origin story ended up being a random tale about Black Widows unorthodox family and their whacky misadventures. This film is filled to the brim with the same old "person without superpowers fights an army of men wielding machine guns and wins" shtick that we have come to expect from Marvel. When the movie really starts to go downhill is probably within the last 20 minutes when our heroes decide to disguise themselves as each other for no reason and then come up with the genius idea to blow up the mysterious "hidden" gravity defying floating fortress that they are standing on with a bunch of hostages. To round everything out Scarlett suddenly has the ability to fly randomly at the end of the movie when falling from the fortress and fighting a brainwashed twenty something year old assassin who was four years old two years prior. I think the director has a hand holding fetish because what the end of this movie lacks in creativity it makes up for in good old fashioned awkward hand holding with strangers. Scarlett should have learned from Scarlet Witch, if you can't do your characters accent you should just give up and talk like your from California.