So many layers of inconsistency, that if it were a dessert, it'd be a parfait of raw eggs, vinegar, and gravel.
If it were a vehicle, it'd be an helicopter-tractor with the horsepower of a moped, and operates like a submarine.
If it were an animal, it'd be a beaver-hunting platypus that gives birth to gecko-horses.
If it were a book, it'd be a bible written by nihilist atheist monks on fruit roll ups.