I never write movie reviews, largely because I see it as a complete waste of time. However, this movie was so terrible that it's worth it to warn others.
DO NOT WATCH. It was SO SO SO SLOW AND NOTHING HAPPENS. I found myself so agitated by how many empty scenes there were, and I had to get up every few minutes to skip through it. I can't believe this is a movie, it is THAT BAD. Do not get reeled into the cryptic description, it is not worth your time. You're welcome in advance.