Christian Thomey

I watched the 1979 version and this one back to back and this version is inferior in every way. For starters, the atmosphere in this version is incredibly cheap. In the 79 version, every shot of the Marsten House gave the impression that house was cursed. The inside of the house was rotting with rats and mold around every corner. Whenever Ben talked about the house, you knew it was something to be feared. The Marsten house in this version is very clean and well kept which takes away that sense of death and dread. Ben Mears in this version doesn’t seem to care about the house at all despite being in town to write about. In the original, his trauma in Salems Lot came from the House, but in this version, his trauma stemmed from his parents dying in a car crash making his motivation in this version not make much sense. This is also a very tell, don’t show type of film. The 79 version was about 3 hours which allowed the characters to be fleshed out. This version cuts a lot out and explains what is going on rather than showing it. Yet, for some reason, they added things in that were not in the original book that don’t really add much to the story at all. Overall, this is a rushed, contrived, and not at all worth while remake of the 79 film. I would highly recommend skipping this one.

I feel kind of bad that I don't enjoy this game as much as I should because I can see why people love this game so much. The story, characters, and dungeons are so well done and a very fun experience. However, my issue stems from the visual style of the game. It goes for a blurry desaturated art style that is just not appealing to me at all. Especially in the Twilight realm, this is paired with a bright orange atmosphere that just gives me a headache. I also have an issue with how this game controls. I played this on the Wii and while some parts the motion controls worked well, other times, it is just way too clunky either nonresponsive or over-responsive where I don't feel like I'm in complete control. Even if I were to play this game on another console with better-suited controls, it still wouldn't change the problems I have with the artstyle. Otherwise, I might consider this one of my favorite Zelda games because it still does so much so right despite my gripes.

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is one of the most unique RPG experiences I ever had. After many months of having this remake get hyped up for me, I still went in with an open mind not exactly sure how I would personally feel about it. Up until this point, the only other Mario RPG I played was the remake of Mario RPG and one of the things TTYD has in common with that game is that for the opening levels of the game have a basic and straightforward level design that I did not click with originally. Yet, I had the urge to keep playing because unlike Super Mario RPG, TTYD has an atmosphere that really helps it stand out compared to other Mario games. Rogueport is a town of criminals: people try to mug you around every corner. The town has a medieval feel to it. It is very brown and dank, and what sticks out in my mind the most is that right when you walk into Rogueport, there is a noose hanging right in the middle of the square. At the beginning of the game, there is not much you can really do in Rogueport aside from getting to know the NPCs around town and getting familiar with the layout. There are also chests and other collectibles that are out in the open but are unreachable until you progress further in the game and unlock certain abilities. Like I mentioned before, the game didn't quite click with me at first because of how slow and simple the opening parts of the game are. In the first 2 major levels, you are incredibly limited in your moveset. you can do small jumps and use your hammer but neither really do that much damage making combat really drawn out and tedious at first but the more you level up and upgrade your items, the combat becomes far more fast paced. Furthermore, one of the main mechanics in this game is the "curses" which gives you abilities to access certain areas. The paper airplane allows to glide across long distances, although the controls for it takes some time to get used to. The "lateral" ability allows you to slide through cracks and grates that are very thin and this is my favorite "curse" by far. Basically, the more you progress, the more fun and open the gameplay gets. Moreover, if you are gamer that likes to rush to the end, this game is not for you. The game wants you to explore every nick and cranny of a level and wants you to take your time and process everything it presents you with. The game does not make it obvious where exactly you are supposed to go. NPCs can give you hints about certain landmarks or characters, but it wants you explore and discover those things for yourself. Often times, when you think have found the correct path to progress, it can lead you to a secret area or collectible you didn't even know was there. This would not be a problem for consecutive playthroughs, but especially true on your first. On the first playthrough, it really awards you for paying attention. Any of these things that can be detractors for new players, the game is still engaging through its story and characters. The dialogue is incredibly well written and, often times, funny. The characters and partners are well designed and have unique motivations that complement said design. This leads to a lot of heartfelt and emotional character beats throughout the story. This game really surprised me in many ways, from how it didn't meet my expectations at first to entirely exceeding my expectations later on. Paper Mario The Thousand-Year Door is an incredibly well made game that deserves to be appreciated by past, present, and future generations alike.

"A puppet trying to find his humanity in a fascist world." I have heard the synopsis of Pinocchio many times, but I don't think it has ever hit me as hard as when I saw Del Toro's version. What an absolute wonder this film is: being able to balance the core with what the original story was while also recontextualizing the story in a brand new setting in order to explore new and compelling themes like the existentialism of being human, the toll of dealing with grief, and the ability to be kind in an otherwise evil world. The animation style greatly compliments the ugliness of human nature while also giving the film an atmosphere of whimsy and hope. I dare not spoil anything else about this film. This is a must watch for Del Toro fans, Pinocchio fans, and general movie goers alike.

I'd say Kung Fu Panda 4 is a cash grab, just not a soulless one. There is still quite a bit of heart in this film. However, it is abundantly clear that this movie didn't need to exist and that the story of Kung Fu Panda is starting to run thin. The best way I can describe this film is formulaic. Po goes on an adventure outside of the Valley of Peace, teams up with supporting characters to take down a supernatural threat, and has some fun fight scenes along the way. Po is as entertaining and charming as ever, but while he learns a lesson at the end of the film, I never felt like he grew as a character. Awkwafina's character, Zhen, is fine but doesn't leave much of an impression. Mr. Ping and Po's dad are the best parts of this movie by far with exquisite chemistry between them. Viola Davis's Chameleon is probably the weakest of the villains in this franchise. Her powers are cool but incredibly gimmicky. Too much of her presence as a villain comes from the charisma of the past villains she transforms into and she never really forms an identity of her own. Overall I would give this movie a 6/10. It is a fun time but not all that necessary.

If I was writing this review months after this game came out, I would have given this game a 4/5 star rating. I had a very pleasant experience my first time around and my only problem with it was the bugs and glitches. I did play it in handheld mode single player so these issues were not as distracting to me as they could've been. However, the more I played it, the more I realized that Scarlet and Violet is not a good game even without the technical problems that plague it. I still have positives for this game though. As far as stories in Pokemon games go, this one is pretty solid. I found the characters rather endearing and was invested in their stories. The Terrastilization mechanic is probably the best battle gimmick since Gen 6 since it offers much more strategy that keeps competitive players on their toes. I liked how you can build a relationship with the legendary throughout the adventure rather than tossing the master ball at one, using it once, and then never using it again. Finally, I found the last hour and a half of the game rather solid. However, the first few times I played the game, I considered it good because I was comparing it to previous Pokemon games on the Switch, and that is the biggest problem. Aside from Arceus, comparing a game where some things I like to 3 games that I find no enjoyment in at all, my opinion was going to be skewed more positively, but that does not make this game good. First of all, much like Sword and Shield, the gameplay in Scarlet and Violet is incredibly dumbed down. The raid system in this game rewards you with experience candies that level up your Pokemon dramatically with having to do very little effort. While on paper, this is an improvement that negates the need to grind, but reaching a level or learning a new move is not satisfying. While grinding in previous games were tedious, they, at the very least, felt earned. This is reinforced by the fact that there is no longer an to battle random trainers because they only trigger if you walk up to them and ask for a battle. In past games, trainer battles were necessary because they often provided needed experience points to level up your team, but the raid system makes these trainers irrelevant and pointless addition to the game. They try to make them relevant by having an NPC give you TM rewards for fighting a certain amount of trainers. The issue with this is that TMs and items are so easily obtainable that it once again defeats the purpose of trainer battles. Furthermore, the topic of items and TMS, they are far too easy to get. They are not spread out at all so every few feet, you obtain another item this goes for TMs as well and they are randomly generated on the map so it is very possible to get powerful moves and items in the first section of the game. In previous games, if you wanted a move like "thunderbolt" it was usually in a well-hidden area that you needed to progress enough in the game to access. Once you obtain it, it feels earned and a feeling of progression, but this game just hands everything to you without ever having to work for it. And the worst part is, even with the dumb-downed gameplay, mindless mechanics, and items being thrown at you, the game still finds it necessary to slog you through a two-hour, boring, cutscene-heavy tutorial to spell out everything for you. This does not respect the player's intelligence or their time, and overall it just makes playing this game a waste of time.

Wonka is a solid, charming time. Chalamet did a fantastic job as the younger version of the titular character. He succeeded in making me believe he was the young version of the Gene Wilder character. I did feel the magic and whimsy of Wonka's character and his desire to fulfill a lifelong dream. Wonka's motivation for starting his business is much more wholesome and fitting than the Depp version was where he started the factory to spite his father. This film does the opposite of that and I think it works much better in my opinion. the other characters are very solid too. Calah Lane did a good job as Noodle, giving a performance that was emotional but believable. Coleman was good as the greedy and sneaky inkeeper and the residents are solid in their roles as well. The story is not meant to be taken that seriously. the whole economy in this movie is based around chocolate and it is at the forefront of corporate corruption and religious conspiracy, creating good humor out of this scenario. The weakest point of the film were the songs which is a shame since this film is a musical. The songs in this film feel super generic and forgettable and not nearly as emotionally impactful as the songs in the original. The best moments in this movie's soundtrack is when they do reprise songs of the original, but they are pretty well implemented. If you like the original Gene Wilder film, then Wonka works a fitting prequel that keeps a smile on your face the whole way through.

I feel like I need to correct some people here. This movie is NOT based on a book. This is an original script penned by King himself. With that in mind, I have to ask: What the HECK were they thinking? Whatever it was, I am so glad that they did. This has got to be the funniest bad movie I have ever seen. Everything in this movie is 100% percent wrong but I greatly admire the passion put into all of it. The movie does have its boring moments, but I feel that it adds to the insanity it builds up to later. Like there is scene where a principal sexually harasses a male student and the boy transforms into a cat for out of nowhere and bites his hand off. The principal runs into the woods half-assedly yelling "I'm sorry" while holding his severed hand. Then it cuts to a cop casually playing with his cat and the boy speeds pass him causing him to chase. the cop gets next to him, the boy sees the cat and starts contorting his face into different creatures before parking on the side of the road then turns invisible. If that scenario doesn't make sense to anyone, then I'm sorry to say the entire movie is like this. It will go from 0 to 11 in a matter of seconds. I especially laughed at the scene where Stephen King showed up and said "I ain't taking the rap for this one! It's not my fault!" It is as if he knew how bad this movie was and wanted to direct as much of the blame off of himself as possible. Once I have to bring up, this is not based on anything. What is in the movie is how the actual story goes. This just makes the entire experience more uncomfortable and more funny because of it. This was the vision. People thought this script was good enough to film. People greenlit, directed it, edited it, and refined it. This is the definitive Sleepwalkers. It is truly mind-blowing people allowed this movie to exist and this movie will always stick in my mind because of it.

I feel like there are two types of Zelda fans. One type of fan tends to prioritize the adventure and combat aspects above all else. The other type of Zelda prefers the challenges of the dungeons above all else. What I will give Breath of the Wild at 9/10 for is how it nails exploration and giving you the tools to solve problems in a multitude of ways. However, one complaint I have regarding the exploration is that the world doesn't offer much in terms of rewards. You can climb up the highest mountain in Hyrule or discover a large maze for example, but, for the most part, you will only find a shrine or a korok seed. There is not much reward variety for exploring the world which is frustrating to me because the journey I take within the world itself is extremely rewarding. It is like Nintendo wanted to focus more on the journey than the destination. On the other hand, I am the type of Zelda fan that plays Zelda for the dungeons and in that aspect I feel the game really stumbles. There are only four "dungeons" in the game in the form of the divine beasts, and for dungeons in and of themselves, they are extremely short and basic. While I can appreciate the freedom you have in tackling the beast in any order, there is also not a lot for you to do in them before taking on the boss. You don't spend enough time in them to properly leave an impact. The biggest issue with these dungeons, however, is that all of them look the same. There is no visual variety to be had in any of the divine beasts and that also goes for the bosses within them. Each boss is a version of calamity ganon and each fight has similar music albeit with different gameplay accompanying them. In my opinion, the strongest aspect of any dungeon in the Zelda series is their atmosphere. Dungeons in a game like Ocarina of Time, for example, are able to leave an impact on you because each dungeon has their own visual flare, unique puzzles, distinct music, and creative bosses that always felt refreshing and memorable. The divine beasts just blend in with each other, and because of that, they start to feel extremely predictable and boring. This is still a fun game, if you are Zelda fan who enjoys the adventure aspect of the series, I feel you will have a blast with this one. However, if you are a dungeon fan like I am, I suggest skipping this one and play any other Zelda title.

Once again we have yet another Disney remake that seems to take away all of the magic out the original animated classic all for the sake of looking more realistic. Just from what I have seen, in fact, just from I had heard from this movie shows it is not offering anything new other than having it be live action. It has bad acting, awkward dialogue, terrible action, and serious as hell and whatever humor they were going for was bad. Just because it is live action doesn’t make it more adult. While the animated version was for kids it still managed to be smart and handled many adult themes. The fact this film is not animated actually puts it at a disadvantage