Chris Burdick

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Ah, yes. The Simpsons: Road Rage. I definitely remember playing this game during the PS2 Era, although I don't have fond memories of it. This game came out on November 24th, 2001, which makes it 21 years old. To give you a better idea of how I really feel about it, I'm going to break it down into categories and give each a score out of five. Story: 1/5 Charles Montgomery Burns has taken over the bus depot and launched his own line of nuclear-powered busses. Citizens of Springfield have taken it upon themselves, to act as a personal taxi service for fellow members of Springfield. In addition, the Simpson Family has also taken it upon themselves, to raise one million dollars, to buy the bus depot back from Mr. Burns. Gameplay: 1/5 This is basically a rip-off of Crazy Taxi, but with The Simpsons. Depending on how good of a driver you are, these are the amounts of Money you make: Fast = $100 Average = $50 Slow = $25 There are also Bonus Objectives. Safe Ride = $250 Road Rage = $1,000 Also, Mr. Burns and Waylon Smithers will be driving around in his limousine and if you hear him say "Get him, Smithers.", he will try to run into you, which can either slow you down or mess up your Bonus Objectives, which is extremely annoying. There is a Mini Map in the bottom-left corner of the screen, that will display a Red Star, indicating the Location, a Small Timer with how long you have to get there and a Large Timer representing your Total Time. A Large Yellow Finger appears every time you pick someone up and will point you in the right direction and will blink when you're close to the destination. If you run out of time, Passenger Characters will jump out, however you can still complete the ride if you're close enough and fast enough. If your Total Time runs out, it's game over. Vehicles have extremely terrible handling and you'll often be running over people or crashing into stuff, in spectacular fashion and those are the best parts of this game. Apart from that, this game can and will get repetitive fast. Driver Characters and Passenger Characters tend to repeat dialogue quite frequently and you'll find yourself getting tired of it or playing it less and less. Now, I can't help but suspect that the game is being a real cheapskate and only giving you an extremely short amount of time, just to drive passengers to their destinations. What wonderful Game Design. NOT! Also, here's something that seriously needs to be pointed out: The Load Times in this game, are painfully slow. I've seen turtles that can move faster than this game's load times and that's not an exaggeration. Graphics: 1/5 For a video game that came out in Late 2001, the Graphics in this game aren't very good. For crying out loud, the Original Ratchet & Clank Games had WAY BETTER Graphics than this and they came out around the same time, too. Roughly. Hell, even Metal Gear Solid 3 and Metal Gear Solid 2 both look significantly better than this. Replay Value: 1/5 Once you've done the following: Experienced all 6 Areas (Locations). Played as all 17 Characters. Played and completed whatever Game Modes this game offers. You're not going to want to play this game ever again and it'll be sitting on your game shelf, collecting dust or you may end up selling it. The Simpsons: Road Rage is the epitome of a bad game. If you're looking for good Simpsons Video Games, play Hit & Run or The Simpsons Game on PS3 or Xbox 360. Just stay away from Road Rage. It's not worth your time or money.

The Simpsons: Road Rage

1 like

Hercules

Call of Duty: Ghosts

I'm gonna be brutally honest here. I've been with Ratchet & Clank, since the PS2 Era and am a veteran and I've loved it ever since. That's why I bought Ratchet & Clank Collection for PS3 and PS Vita. Controls: 4/5 Now, look. Wonky Controls are nothing new, especially in Older Generation Video Games. They are a product of their time and will definitely take getting used to, especially on PlayStation Vita, which has no L2 and R2 Buttons aka "Trigger Buttons", only L and R, as well as Rear Touchpad, which substitutes it. Other than that, however, the Controls are pretty smooth and easy to use. For Ratchet & Clank 1, however, please be aware that you can't Strafe, like you could in Going Commando onward. Also, Weapons and Health don't upgrade through combat and experience, like in Going Commando onward. Health Upgrades have to be purchased, through a vending machine, on Kogor Refinery, on Planet Orxon. The planet that requires the O2 Mask. Also, you have to use Bolts aka In-Game Currency to buy them. Gameplay: 5/5 Now, look. This is where I've always loved Insomniac. The Ratchet & Clank Trilogy really shows their creativity and imagination, in Characters, Weaponry, Armor, References, etc. Weapons are really creative and surprisingly useful, too. Plus, they're pretty funny. Story: 5/5 This is why I love Ratchet & Clank. Between the back-and-forth banter between Ratchet & Clank or Ratchet, Clank and Other Characters, like Captain Qwark for example, really brings out some really, REALLY funny moments. Keep in mind, these games ARE NOT for kids, as there are references that will fly over their heads and only adults will get them. Each Game, has a unique Story. This is why I grew up with Ratchet & Clank on PS2 and have stuck with it, since then. Graphics: 4/5 Now, I've gotta be brutally honest. Again. Graphics are great, but you have to remember that these are PS2 Era Games ported to PS3 in HD. The PS Vita Version looks more like the PS2 Version, which, now that I think about it, is actually not a bad thing, though there are some minor bugs and glitches in the Vita Version, but nowhere near as awful as, say, Jak and Daxter Collection on Vita. Replay Value: 5/5 After you complete the story of each game the first time, you can replay it with your purchased weapons, as many times as you want, as well as complete Skill Points and earn Unique Bolts in each game. All in all, Ratchet & Clank Collection is more for veterans who want to relive their childhoods, like me for example. Newcomers will be turned off by the outdated Controls, but if you can get used to it, you will love these games. Trust me. Final Score: 4.5/5

Ratchet & Clank

9 likes

In all honesty, I couldn't care less what anyone says, Disney's Hercules may not be the most accurate depiction, of the Actual Hercules, but, AT LEAST the Disney Version is allowed to have a happy ending and that's all that really matters to me. Also, yes. I am fully aware that Heracles is his Greek Name and Hercules is his Roman Name, but, here's the thing. Okay. People have come to acknowledge this Demigod by his Roman Name, as well as being accepting of it, too. And, yes, I know that Hera wasn't the mother of Heracles and she went to great lengths to make his life horrible and even made him kill his first wife, Megara and kids and he had to perform his 12 Labors, all because her husband and brother, Zeus, couldn't keep it in his pants and stop having so many mistresses, but, I'm glad that the writers and Disney didn't take their version of Hercules, down the exact same path, because I am pretty sure if that were the case, Disney's Hercules would've failed miserably. Another thing I want to point out, is the soundtrack. It's nothing short of amazing, beautiful, poetic and well written, too. Take "Go The Distance", for example. The lyrics strongly suggest being able to do anything, no matter how difficult or hard it is or may seem, as well as acceptance, too. See, that's the thing about this particular song: it can and will bring you to tears. I know it did for me, because, see, I have mental disabilities and I, too, struggle with acceptance. Society tends to be very ignorant and mistrustful, of people who are different from them and, as such, they pick on them, too. It's sad, but, there's not really a whole lot that can be done about it, except society becomes more accepting and trusting, of those of us who are different from them. All in all, this is an excellent Disney Movie from 1997 and, I strongly encourage people, to shut their brain off and just watch this movie and accept it for what it is, because I get sick and tired of all the hatred and negativity being directed at it.

Hercules

23 likes

This is, by far, THE WORST Remastered Trilogy I've ever played. First of all, the Gameplay. It's very imprecise. I've fallen into pits so often, that it's not even funny. Now, look. I understand that these are updated Controls, but, when they feel clunky and imprecise, that's a not-so-obvious indication, that they don't work and Alternate Control Schemes are needed. The rest of Levels, are mostly trial and error, as well boring and exhausting. Three times, I have tried to like Crash Bandicoot and get into it, because I didn't play them on PS1 and three times, I have deleted it from my PS4. Second, the Graphics. They look great. Thing is, however, Graphics don't mean anything, if Gameplay isn't great. This is just another case of Graphics over Gameplay. Iron Man 1 on PS3 did that and look how that turned out. It was a hot pile of trash. Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy fares no better and suffered the same fate, apparently. Third, the Story of all 3 games remains largely the same. If you've already played them on PS1, you'll know EXACTLY what's going on here. No further details needed. Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy is the epitome of wasted potential. This could've been great and it, also, could've been a love letter to Veterans, but it's neither of those. Instead, it's just Activision taking advantage of what people used to love and thinking nostalgia would be able to save them. Well, it didn't and this Remastered Trilogy failed. Miserably. Question: WHY is it, that Spyro Reiginited Trilogy succeeded and Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy failed? Oh, that's right. Because they were made by two different studios. One of which, clearly loves and respects what already exists, while the other is clueless to what they were doing and bit off more than they could chew. If you REALLY want to experience the Crash Bandicoot Trilogy, stick to the PS1 Versions. As old as they are, AT LEAST they don't reek of Activision Greed. Final Score: 3/10

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time

6 likes

I'm not really a Killzone Fan, but, let me say, that, for a PlayStation Vita Exclusive, it's really, REALLY good and VERY addicting. A game like this, is VERY HARD to not keep coming back to, even long after you've earned its Platinum Trophy. ***SPOILERS AHEAD*** Graphics: 5/5 Mercenary is a beautiful game and really takes full advantage, of the PlayStation Vita's hardware. This game right here, tech demo or not, is a true testament, to what the PlayStation Vita could do. Great job and rest in peace, Guerrilla Cambridge. You will be missed and thank you, for giving us this excellent PlayStation Vita Exclusive First-Person Shooter. Story: 4.5/5 The Story takes place, during the events of Killzone 1, Liberation and Killzone 2. Plus, Intel clearly nods at these games, too and I appreciate it, even though I'm not really a Killzone Fan, despite having played all of them, but, haven't completed them all. Anyway, you play as Arran Danner, a mercenary working for Phantom Talon Corps. A Mercenary Business, basically. Your main boss, is Anders Benoit, a real scumbag. He doesn't care about you, only about using mercenaries, for profit and halfway into the game, he does betray you. Also, you have to deal with two total psychos: one is a Female ISA Admiral, named Alex Grey and the other is a Male Helghast Colonel, named Vyktor Kratek. Both are after a virus, that a Helghast Scientist injected, into a Half Human, Half Helghast, 10-year-old boy, named Justus Harkin. Anyway, this is the main story and you end up killing 2/3 of these scumbags, destroy the virus and the game is over. Anyway, I do love the ISA and Helghast sides of this story. It REALLY makes me wish, that more Killzone Games, were like this, instead of being one-sided only. Looking at you, Killzone 2, 3 and Shadow Fall. Gameplay: 5/5 If you've played Killzone 3 or Shadow Fall, you'll be right at home, with Mercenary. Also, pretty much EVERYTHING you do, earns you money. It's very addicting and encourages multiple playthroughs and play styles. You can also unlock Special Abilities, through a Black Market Arms Dealer, named Blackjack, called VAN-Guards, which acts as Killstreaks/Perks. Not much else to say here. Controls: 4.5/5 Controls are, for the most part, really good. Although, one minor complaint, is having to use the Touchscreen, to pickup Ammo, when you could, very easily, just push Triangle. Same with Melee. Having to use the Rear Touchpad, to zoom in and out, of sniper rifles, is a little gimmicky, but, it also works surprisingly well. Replay Value: 5/5 In addition to Story, there are 3 Contracts you can play as well: Covert (Stealth), Demolition (Destroy Everything and Kill Everyone) and Precision (Objective-Specific, basically). All of these, on top of Multiplayer, which is one of the weaker aspects of this game, all adds tremendous amounts of Replay Value. If you have a PlayStation Vita and are looking for a great Handheld FPS, you can't go wrong, with Killzone: Mercenary. Keep in mind, that the Story only clocks in, at around 4-5 hours, but, it's an enjoyable 4-5 hours, nonetheless. This game blows Black Ops: Declassified out of the water, with ease. If I enjoyed it, so will you. Take it from this 12-Year PSN Veteran. Killzone: Mercenary, is a HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, MUST OWN PlayStation Vita Game. Final Score: 10/10

Killzone: Mercenary

2 likes

Star Wars Battlefront II

I remember playing Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood, between 2009 and 2013 and I have 0 good memories, regarding this ♨️ pile of 🐕💩. This is, hands down, the ABSOLUTE WORST Western Video Game Ever Made. First of all, the Story is boring and forgettable. It goes, from Ray and Thomas fighting, in The Civil War, to looking for some Aztec Treasure, that Ray heard stories of. In reality, it's just Kill and Duel Enemies and go to the next Level, to rinse and repeat it, all over again. This is fun, right? No, it's not. That's called Bad Writing, Lazy Game Design and Repetition. Also, nobody in this game, apart from Ray and Thomas, are memorable. William is just a nuisance, who keeps preaching religion to his brothers, when they obviously don't want to hear it. William getting killed, towards the end of the game, comes as no surprise, especially considering just how ANNOYING, he is. May God have mercy, on the ONLY McCall Brothers, that actually mattered: Ray and Thomas. Gameplay is just your typical First-Person Cover Shooter. If you've played Far Cry 3, you'll be instantly familiar with it, here. Also, this game does use Concentration Mode, which is, basically, just Dead Eye, from Red Dead Redemption, but poorly designed and doesn't really work here. Also, Ray and Thomas move very unrealistically. Plus, it looks like they're power walking and it's insulting, to even call it "Sprinting". How can I tell? Look at their shadows, that's how. When they mount a horse, it just looks like they floated onto the horse, not climb onto it. Dueling is also a major issue. You keep the target centered and your arm close to your gun, so you can kill them, when the bell rings. It's very hit-or-miss, as it rarely works and you just die. Did no one, at Techland, even test it? Red Dead Redemption did Dueling so much better. How, you might ask? When time slows down and the screen says "DRAW!", you pull out your gun, mark up the target and gun them down. Or you can aim for their gun hand and disarm them and raise your Honor. So, question: why can't you do that, CoJ BiB? Techland, it really wouldn't hurt, to take notes, from Red Dead Redemption, considering they're the better Western Games and Call of Juarez isn't. Then, there's Multiplayer. Why? We don't need this. Techland, for the love of God, just shut it down. It's too bare-bones and not rewarding at all. It's unbelievably sad, that Call of Juarez ended up becoming the Call of Duty, of Western Games. For a game that came out, in Mid 2009, Bound in Blood looks mediocre at best. Red Dead Redemption came out a year later and it looks WAY BETTER, than Bound in Blood. Seriously, what's up with that? Also, we need to talk about both McCall Brothers. Where Ray is the stronger McCall, Thomas is the more agile and long-range McCall. While these work, for two different Playstyles, at the same time, they also feel gimmicky, too. So, is Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood even worth buying or renting, based on everything I just got through talking about? No. No, it most definitely isn't. If it's a Great Western Video Game you're looking for, stick to Red Dead Redemption and Red Dead Redemption 2. They're superior, in every way and are more satisfying, too. Believe me, if I had a time machine, I'd go back in time and stop myself, from ever playing this trash. Believe me, I don't regret selling Bound in Blood and getting Red Dead Redemption, instead. I really don't. Trust me, if I didn't enjoy this game, you won't, either. Thank you for listening and goodbye.

Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood

10 likes

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered