luke failla

An honest review of Snow White. Let’s get this part out of the way since there’s been so much negativity thrown at the movie long before its release. Here are the major flows: The Wicked Queen’s song and dance number is terrible. “Someday, My Prince Will Come” is sadly scrapped. There are unnecessary action scenes, this movie could be about 15 minutes shorter in length. The pros still outweigh the cons. “Waiting on a Wish” is a nice little number and Rachel really shows off her singing abilities. In fact, when considering how much of the film is a blend of humans with CGI, Rachel does a lot of solo acting, and she’s terrific. Every scene she’s in feels strong. Snow White is an interesting person. The best scenes are when they lean into the source material in visually striking ways. Snow White running terrified through the forest being snared by tree branches is thrilling. The transition from dark to light as woodland creatures emerge from the forest is magical. In someways the entire movie feels like an amusement park ride at the Magic Kingdom, which is completely fine. Which brings me back to my point, it could have been a little more simplified, and like the wait for a ride at Disney World, the run time could be shorter.

Better than I remembered. Beautiful artwork and terrific music.

Genuinely entertaining. This is the type of film that delivers exactly on brand. You want a spectacular colorful Oz landscape? An entertaining story? Singing and dancing? Watch Wicked. Much like the 1939 classic, and The Wiz, this is also a fantastic iteration of America’s favorite fairytale.

Completely inane. Absolutely nothing tied together. Skip it. Or just watch it for the part where the old lady puts a white napkin over her head, that part was wild.

The cast is excellent. The costumes and artistic design are atmospheric in all the right ways. But something’s missing or off about this Addams family. They’re too nice. I missed the Pugsley and Wednesday who played with electric chairs, smoked cigars, and tried to kill their baby brother. And who can forget when the whole family poured boiling oil on Christmas carolers? The Addams’ of the 90s were sadistic and insane, and absolutely bizarre, which made the movies so funny. You really didn’t know how dark or how far they’d go. But they’re a little more tame these days. Hopefully, season two embraces their diabolical craziness a little more.

I won’t spoil the ending, but I burst out laughing and the morbid ridiculousness of the final scene. This movie serves as a legitimate sequel to a really bonkers movie from the late 80s. Most of the time I found myself bemused by the curious oddities on the screen. I smiled a lot, chuckled a little, and laughed a few times. It was never boring. The visual effects are terrific.

To be fair, this is a B movie, for sure. But if you liked 90s slasher movies and the original IKWYDLS you’ll probably enjoy this movie. The cast is top tier. Jennifer Love Hewitt delivers the best screams. Brandy is the best friend we all need. And Freddie Prinze JR going to the pawn shop to buy a gun saying with a stone cold face “is it loaded?” really sets the mood. You have to be able to overlook certain things, like, why is a housekeeper knocking on doors saying “housekeeping” in an empty hotel? Why is Brandy wandering into random places in the hotel to open industrial dryers? Why is Julie showering when her stalker is on the loose? Who is the island man that speaks in riddles?

Spoiler and I don’t care if I ruin it for you. It’s a dumb ending. A fitting twist would simply have been good enough if after Celine did all her wicked deeds if the boy simply said “No” at the ending. That would have torn Celine to shreds driven her mad, and it would codify the instinctive bond Theo shared with his actual mother. Furthermore, when I saw the two leads in this movie I was expecting something good. Now I’ll be mindful to read reviews regardless of who’s cast in a film.

It’s not controversial, it’s boring. And it didn’t need to be. I fail to see the moment where our lovebirds made any connection. Everyone, except Winnie, turned into weak and feeble people in the last 30 minutes for no reason other than to get the movie over with. Wasted talents. Unless you just want the TV on while you work on your laptop, skip it.

It’s actually not that bad. In 1993 I was quite young and expected something like the Ninja Turtles, so I was very disappointed with this picture. As an adult I found it entertaining in the same way that I enjoy Ghostbusters or Beetlejuice.