Tim Spencer

Sloppy, disconnected, rambling nonsense. I wish I could say something more positive. It's just a mess. You leave it less interested in the events or the characters than you go into it. It utilizes the same lube that all bad movies use. The lube that allows you to just slip from one scene to another, from one plot point to another, from one moment to another, without there being any friction or snags and without there being any sequential sense. It's a lubefest... "It doesn't matter what just happened because this is happening now". The editor clearly snipped this movie together as a freelance side hustle in the evenings after putting in long days doing something else. Very slapdash. Very dull.

Mostly enjoyable, somewhat silly, a little too complicated in all the wrong ways, and with fundamental plot flaws that get discarded like snack wrappers as the story gambols along. It is, essentially, a rehash of Captain Scarlet & The Mysterons, with a soupçon of Battlestar Galactica, and a smattering of Doctor Who. It's a fantastic premise that could run indefinitely for 50 years, like a sci-fi soap opera or telenovela. It is Crossroads (a UK soap opera about a motel) with adorably flimsy scenarios, aliens and (for a short while) Oculus Quest. Highly enjoyable cliché nonsense with some grand FX to give it movie-like scale that sometimes compensates for the lack of depth or consistency. THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE MYSTERONS

I've just watched this movie. It's pitch black outside and a fox - I hope - is making the most insane vocal sounds right below my window. So 10/10 for the movie and a bonus point for the freaky real world embellishments, which could not have been more perfectly timed. Can somebody please come and get me? Thanks.

This film wont be for everyone. By now you probably already know it's not for you because if it was, you'd have heard of it. Made on a budget, with very little dialogue hanging off a loose story line. Only one cast member was an actor, and there are aching stretches of really not much happening at all, all filmed in real locations and natural light. I believe this is the greatest car movie ever made because it's the only movie that gets close to the reality of the relationship between man and car. Some people love Vanishing Point, but Vanishing Point is a style-heavy masturbatory fantasy of its time. Nothing really makes sense, and Kowalski is a weak, one dimensional colour-by-numbers scribble of an unrealistic cartoon folk hero. No such pretensions exist in TwoLaneBlackTop. There is no fantasy, just the road, a 55 Chevy, two friends, a hitch hiker... and a lost, confused, spat out nervous breakdown in a Pontiac GTO. It's not a road movie, it's a ride-along in full mundane, nihilistic glory.