Nicholas Araujo

If you didn’t care for the first movie, then you won’t care for this one.

I have so many problems with this game, I don’t even know where to start. It feels like the game is straining against its mission based framework, which only really means that I’ll have to replay huge swaths of the game, if I ever want to take a break. The combat feels floaty and weightless and attacks come so swiftly and deal too much damage for having so little telegraph, almost like I’m working my way through each encounter, not based on prior knowledge or any meaningful skill, but through panicked instinct, which is only made all the worse by the fact that I don’t trust the dodge to see me safely through attacks. The stance system changes the timing of the dodge action as well as the Iframes associated with it, and hit boxes haven’t adjusted to match, meaning that the only dodge worth a damn is the quick step which takes you so little distance that I can’t even tell it’s happening half the time.

It has a big, throbbing production value, that much is obvious but the writing is bland as stale bread, the performances are average (with a few exceptions) and I think it relies a bit too heavily on a prior knowledge that I don’t have to tell me what is going on half of the time. The plot is fine, however, I worry that the structure has been translated too literally (I wouldn’t know) from the books and is poorly optimized for the medium, leading to poor pacing and underdeveloped characters (prior knowledge and all that). The cinematography is a mixed bag. At times it’s clear as day with a real intent behind the camera, like someone knew what they were doing and at others it can seem shaky and out of focus without clear intention.

If you’re looking for a movie with all of the charm of Ryan Reynolds alongside all of the terrible directorial and editorial choices of Michael Bay, this movie’s got you covered. I feel as though it is needless to say that this is a fine example of an excellent concept that has been infected and thoroughly crippled by the parasite that is Michael Bay. Ryan Reynolds is, I believe, the only real highlight of the movie as his performance was the only thing that kept me watching.