Jon C

Underrated Halloween horror silliness, unashamedly full of familiar tropes but with one or two nasty surprises that elevate this a tier above the usual frightfest fare. Socially awkward primary schooler Peter is awoken at night by strange noises in the walls, and even a girl's voice. His mum and dad dismiss his concerns as they never hear anything - so is Peter simply suffering from an overactive imagination or are his creepy parents even weirder than they first appear? Or is it a combination of both? His teacher Miss Devine is deeply concerned about Peter's behaviour, which isn't helped when he gets expelled for an act of violence. Does what's happening relate to the disappearance of a trick or treater years earlier? If so, how? As the various strands of the mystery are resolved, the plot takes various handbrake turns which you may or may not see coming. Either way it's a fun ride with some decent scares amidst the hokum. Sadly the ending is rather unsatisfying with a few plot points unresolved, but if you're looking for something a little bit different this Halloween, you could do a lot worse. A quick note for any arachnophobes concerned by the title - there is nothing to fear here; yes there is a bit of spider theming at times but nothing very concerning.

A hospice for dying teenagers is the grim backdrop for this so-so horror-lite series, a rare Mike Flanagan misfire. Although it's brilliantly acted with some interesting twists along the way, one absolutely crucial thing is missing: it's not remotely scary at any point beyond some forced jump scares (one episode claims to have the most jump scares in TV history). That's not to say it isn't worth watching. But if you're expecting "Fall of the House of Usher" levels of psychological terror, you're going to be bitterly disappointed. The neat conceit here is that the teens secretly meet at night to tell each other scary stories that may or may not be true, hence the name. Some, like the doppelganger tale from episode two, have distant Black Mirror vibes - but lack the necessary shock factor to make the impact needed for a horror series. Perhaps it's because it's aimed at a younger audience? Either way, although the narrative meanders nicely through the episodes, it's all a bit safe, underwhelming and (ultimately) a little dull. It was left open-ended for a second season, then promptly cancelled by Netflix, adding to the frustration. Flanagan survived this minor setback to make some phenomenal Netflix series. This won't be remembered as one of his best.

A very interesting and ambitious thriller which very clearly overextends itself - but which holds your interest despite its flaws. It's pretty clever: it starts out in a fairly light-hearted way, verging on romcom. Then there's a very sudden change of tone and the mood switches to suspense and even horror. The "hunt" idea is not entirely original of course, but it's brilliant for generating tension. Much of the criticism you read here is fair and justified, but the movie is no less enjoyable despite the chronic lack of believability. There are some extremely suspenseful moments and scares along the way which make this worth watching provided you can suspend disbelief.

An unexpected little low-budget horror gem! A 20-something couple driving in rural Ireland take a wrong turn and end up stranded on a farm road in the middle of nowhere. Little do they know that a terrifying ancient being has just been resurrected and is hungry for blood! Thankfully he's repelled by light - so, armed with just a desk lamp and smartphone torch, the pair face a battle royale with the beast until the morning. Some of the acting may be a little daft but in contrast the direction is extremely deft, ratcheting up the tension to 11 with brief blurry unexpected glimpses of the creature in the background or extreme foreground providing some very well-timed scares. The beast is also intelligent, not just a blood-sucking neanderthal so the pair are up against it as they find themselves under attack. The tight camerawork with minimal light source makes you feel as if you are right there in the thick of the action with them. In many ways, this clever method of shooting is more important than the actual plot. It has its obvious limitations but is surprisingly effective and well worth a watch.

So-so survival flick with a narrative borrowed heavily from the Sylvester Stallone movie "Cliffhanger", only nowhere near as good. Here, a young woman sees and films her friend brutally murdered by vile predatory thug Josh and his spineless mates ahead of a dangerous free climb up a sheer rock face. Her only escape route is up the mountain towards the icy peaks, but she is pursued by the men who desperately want to eradicate the evidence of their crime. A decent-ish idea, spoilt by a very dodgy script and some really poor acting among the men. Josh is pure pantomime evil, but it's so rampagingly unsubtle with no nuance whatsoever, and his mates seem surprised at his psychopathy even though they've known him since school and have been treated appallingly by him. They don't make a credible group at all. There are plenty of "sweaty palms" moments in the climbing scenes, but also a lot of dodgy continuity gaffes and a lack of cohesion. You never get a real sense of where she's headed or how she thinks she might escape. Clunky, clichéd, and deeply frustrating then, but for all that it remains a decent enough watch as a disposable rainy day thriller.

Horror-lite oddity that doesn't really know who the target audience is or what it's trying to be. End result: a frustrating mish-mash featuring a few excellent moments but too many ham-fisted attempts at scares that sadly fall flat. Five teenagers on a vintage bus in the middle of nowhere: why? It's never explained who they are, why they're there or where they're going. Forced into a shortcut by a fallen tree, they're then hijacked by an escaped convict (who puts in one of the most excruciatingly hammy performances of all time). But that's just the beginning of their woes: the bus breaks down in a tunnel and something very angry rears its head in the darkness... Honestly, this had the potential to be a really good horror-comedy in the style of that absolute classic "Attack The Block". But the young actors sadly aren't quite up to the job. They're decent in parts and hopeless in others. The backstory they uncover is full of holes and doesn't stand up to even the slightest scrutiny. Then the final scene is entirely predictable and underwhelming. It claims to be aimed at the 16+ market but it's pretty tame stuff. My 14-year-old watched it and shrugged. Young teenagers may enjoy it on a sleepover but as a serious attempt at horror it just doesn't cut it at all. Some of the effects are excellent, others are horribly low budget.

A proper British classic which is every bit as funny, scary and relevant as it was when it was filmed 13 years ago. A gang of South London teens, the modern equivalent of the Artful Dodger and his pals, try to defend themselves and their council block when they come under attack by angry aliens. They're reluctantly helped by a nurse that they ruthlessly robbed in the street but soon make another formidable enemy in the local drug-dealing gun-toting lowlife who thinks he runs the place. The movie deftly switches between comedy and horror with some real laugh-out-loud lines and set pieces alongside some genuine scares, nailbiting suspense and mild gore. The teen actors are all sensationally good; their chemistry is what makes the movie such a huge success. The explanation for the isolated alien attack is superb and although it's very much a low-budget production, the effects are excellent. But it's the script that holds it all together, along with the sharp direction and slick pacing. As viewers we go from despising this gang of thieving yobs to properly rooting for them. A movie you can watch over and over again without ever getting bored.

Quite simply, a televisual masterpiece, mixing true-life tragedy, fictional horror and majestic period thriller. A magnificent accomplishment, adapted from the Dan Simmons novel, which provides a stylised account of Sir John Franklin's doomed attempt to find the Northwest Passage through the Arctic in the mid-1840s. Why did he embark upon such a perilous mission? Because finding the passage would increase trade between Britain and China/India. But of course such a mission was fraught with danger. In real life, the two ships (HMS Terror & HMS Erebus) became hopelessly locked in the ice, eventually leading to the tragic deaths of everyone on board through a combination of starvation, scurvy and other diseases. Only later did we discover that some of the men had resorted to cannabalism out of sheer desperation. But this horror-drama also throws (wait for it) a *mythical giant bear* into the mix, a brutal creature who efficiently slaughters the crew members one-by-one. As if they didn't have enough to deal with! We know that this story isn't going to end well, but there are 10 episodes so it takes its sweet time getting there. It's a slow burner for sure as the characters are unveiled and fleshed out, but your patience is richly rewarded as the narrative deftly switches from glossy period drama to bloody icebound horror. The cast is nothing short of sensational, a who's who of TV royalty. The eerie setting and unsettling score add to the growing feeling of suspense and unease. No expense is spared in making you believe these people are out there on the ice, with the sun disappearing for winter and the food stores starting to run out. It is unremittingly and unapologetically bleak, but there are also stories of real human courage, cruelty, honour, selflessness and terror. it is also incredible television. It has to be up there with the very best TV ever produced, yes it's that good. And then we come to the second season. The less said about that, the better. A desperate attempt to cling to the coat tails of the first series, it has nothing whatsoever to do with the initial story (it is set towards the end of WWII for a start) and would barely scrape a 4/10 if you were scoring it. Thankfully the 10 perfect episodes of season one are all you need. Savour each of them, you'll be bereft once it's finished.

Riotous, if perhaps a little dated, comedy-mystery based on the Cluedo board game (known as Clue in the US). The plot heavily and deliberately borrows ideas from "And Then There Were None" by Agatha Christie as a group of blackmail victims are gathered at a spooky mansion by an unseen host. Murder soon follows. The script is sharp, the cast outstanding and the comic timing is spot on. What made this mystery unique was the fact that several different solutions were filmed; different cinemas screened different endings. Here, you get all of them back to back. As with the similar "Murder By Death" from nine years earlier (the brilliant Eileen Brennan stars in both), some of the sexuality-based gags haven't aged well - but bear in mind the movie is set in post-WWII America when viewing. Overall a terrific movie full of fun, intrigue and suspense. A remake is in production to be released 40 years after this - it will be interesting to see how it compares.

Much-loved mystery-comedy from Neil Simon that is undoubtedly showing its age (with highly dubious gags centred on race and sexuality). But if we accept the fact that these jokes were not even slightly offensive in the mid-1970s then the reality is that we are left with an extremely clever and witty spoof of Agatha Christie-type mysteries that An eccentric millionaire (played by Truman Capote) gathers the world's leading detectives (featuring barely disguised rip-offs of Poirot, Marple, Columbo etc) at his creepy mansion, only for him to end up dead, leaving the brilliant minds to crack the case. A glitzy cast of huge 70s names (including Peter Sellars, Maggie Smith, David Niven and Peter Falk) and a razor sharp script keep both the humour and the suspense going, while the ending is both riotous and a little baffling. Great fun from start to finish. But certainly not one for the PC brigade.