John Wallis

An amazing book that distills a simple approach to detecting maladaptive behaviours in relationships. Useful as a tool to help untangle relationship patterns or as a reinforcement of your red flags when about to start a relationship, or on the fence to end one. You will still need to find a therapist to heal your wounding & you will get diminishing returns if you just stick to CBT or DBT. I recommend somatic work to get the deepest healing. Until that happens, you will automatically attract the dovetail attachment type; no matter how much you intellectually understand the content. I would not recommend giving this to a partner to try and "fix" them. Or use it as ammunition to criticise or shame. Make a choice to either stay or leave. A takeaway was the statistics, especially the ratio of dysfunctional singles in the dating pool as it ages.