Stu From Saturday

This may actually be the worst film I've ever watched in my life.

Utter, UTTER bilge. I'm actually really cross I sat through it. Shocking acting, absolutely appalling scripting, ridiculous characters completely changing their point of view and emotional standpoint every other line. Jumps that don't scare and twists that don't twist. The toy isn't frightening and the effects are worse. Even the obligatory nursery rhyme doesn't offer any chills. There is a Canadian indie horror film called "Z", produced on a tiny fraction of the budget the behemoths Blumhouse and Lions Gate must have wasted on this. Watch that instead - it's the film this one thinks it is.

**Zoom in for a facial close up** One of the most dreadful films I've ever sat through in my life. Mind-blowingly ridiculous drivel. **Zoom in for a facial close up** The one star is for Keaton. **Zoom in for a facial close up**

Stop what you're doing this very instant, find out where this film is playing near you, and go and watch it. Go on. Do that now. I can't recall a film which managed to encompass quite as much as this one, to such a staggering level. Every single emotion was triggered, the visuals have to be seen to be believed and as for the soundtrack... honestly... This is The Empire Strikes Back of Spider-Man films, and neither I nor From Saturday Junior can WAIT for the third one. Stunning stunning stunning. Absolutely brilliant in every respect. A fantastic film.

Two stars for the solid acting throughout. But what an absolutely ridiculous waste of time. I don't care about ambiguous endings. Inception for instance. But this...this isn't an ambiguous ending. This is half a story. Someone got started writing, realised they couldn't tie the ends up, and stopped. It's beyond ridiculous that stuff like this gets made. Got to go now. Time to give my decoy baby to my ex wife. Where did I even get a "decoy baby" from? Oh I can't explain that. I'll just pretend you never asked and stop wr....

Five stars for the Welsh countryside, and also to whoever convinced the superb Iwan Rheon to sign up for this garbled, badly acted, terribly scripted, dreadfully paced, poorly characterised, disjointed, ridiculous plop.

This is the best programme that has ever been on television. If you know, you know.

Absolutely fantastic. Beautiful and brutal and brilliant from start to finish, this film is as emotionally engrossing as it is visually gorgeous. There's too much to marvel at. This Predator itself is truly terrifying, a totally believable precedent of the more modern, more tech-dependent beings we are used to seeing. The nod backs are just right. The scenery is delicious. The main characters are all just bang on the money and the tension is built absolutely perfectly to a wonderful final stand off and a moment just after that which made me well up such was the emotion portrayed. Love love loved it. If you're a fan of these films stop reading this immediately, and watch it. Do it. Now.

The Best Film Of All Time. Fact.

Phenomenal. The best show I've watched in years. Adam Scott is surely up for every award going but it's not just him, a fantastic cast blow the doors off every single episode, with a constantly evolving plot which poses moral questions on so many levels. Even if they screwed up the ending I would have posted this. They didn't screw up the ending. Totally, wonderfully, terrifyingly brilliant.