Aaron Plocharczyk

THE STORY: There is no story to this film. Two undeveloped characters go into some woods and find two other undeveloped characters willing to kill them in the most boring ways possible because they think it'll help them talk to trees. THAT'S IT. It doesn't get deeper than that, and there is no ending. THE PRODUCTION: The production is sloppy too. Felt like a student film, and not a good one. There's a two inch cut on someone's foot in one scene, and it's a seven inch cut in the next scene. So amateurish it's embarrassing. BREAKING THE GENEVA CONVENTION: I am going to be very clear about what actually happens when you sit in front of the screen and watch this. No exaggerations or jokes. This "movie" starts out with a warning that it may cause epileptic seizures, and the rest of the movie literally screeches the loudest experimental decimals you've ever heard, like the ones they used at Waco to try to drive people insane, right into your eardrums for over an hour while flashing the screen bright white throughout. And not in a way that adds to the story or freaks you out because, as I mentioned, there is no real story to start with. Literally just intentionally and continuously assaulting your senses as a replacement for telling a story. This is not a movie. It's the kind of thing they would use to torture people. Im pretty sure I could talk to a lawyer about this, and that's not a joke. I was the only person left in the theater by the time it ended, and that's only because I was plugging my ears and squinting my eyes, clinging to the idea that there must be something at the end to make it slightly worth it. There wasn't. My head is throbbing, and the theater staff laughed at me when I came out because they knew I just experienced a war crime. I didn't even ask for my money back because I just wanted to get out of there immediately. IF THERE IS ANY WAY FOR YOU TO AVOID BEING NEAR A THEATER THAT SHOWS THIS, STAY AWAY.