Marline D

Haunting portrayal that takes you on a rollercoaster of childhood trauma and pain. The protagonist is on a journey to resolve his trauma but experiences acute traumatic stress and demonstrates how his adulthood is afflicted with unresolved trauma. He is starving for his father’s validation and love. Truly heartbreaking as we watch helplessly a little lost boy on his journey lacking true protection and a life marred with misguidance and exploitation. Child actor’s exploitation by his own family is one theme, not only was he seen as a money maker but he was caught in a volatile relationship between his parents. You watch in horror as he is repeating his mother’s/father’s angry words to each other. You could see the lifetime of damage to that child in those moments. Another tragic life is that of his father who is a recovering alcoholic that lacks the ability to form the deep bond his son is craving. You see the raw tragedy as he recounts his own childhood trauma and abuse and feel bad for him as he is just perpetuating the cycle and parenting the way he best can. He lacks the tools but he displays some protective factors but with questionable motivation. You can see he loves his son but instead of parenting with respect, he commands it and does not express his love in the capacity that a child needs because he lacks the fundamental ability to do this. He is broken too. The pain the protagonist experiences is the only “gift” he was ever given by his father. His strength lies in his ability to recognize this gift of pain and recognize that his survival was based on his ability to adapt and act even when he was not in role. His acting was a blessing and a disservice to him. It was a source of income. It permitted him escape into a fictional world but you mostly see the tragedy of it, how there is pressure by his father to get a scene correct. It is also a source of a disappointment as the little boy recognizes his real father is not as loving as his fictional one. There is no joy in his acting and no sense of real humor. It is a job. The lines blurred and his identity comprised of acting the part in his real life in order to survive. Made me challenge any preconceived notions about child actors and the culture. The last scene was one of hope and sadness as the protagonist fantasizes for the resolution he never received. It takes your breath away when we see him driving the motorcycle with his father clutching on, the little boy now proudly driving; you can feel his release, his hope, the beginning of healing only to discover he is still chasing and may very well always be chasing the ghosts of his childhood. Now a man with so many scars we are forced to see we are all beings on the path to resolve childhood pain that most of us never will. His future up in the air, nothing is certain. We are unclear what the status is of his father. Is he alive? Is he in jail? If he places his healing in his father’s control, will he ever heal?