Rhett Gold

This movie is the worst movie I have seen in quite a while, worse than Attack of the Killer Tomatoes even, because at least that fulfills its purpose of being satirical. First off, the plot. Nothing is ever explained at all, the plot points are all over the place, and the progression is nonsensical. The CGI would be passable if this movie were about 90 years older, but this was awful, even for 1990. The talking speed of the rock monster makes me want to barf with delight at how much more content it gives me to hate, and the baby rock monster is outright terrifying. Also, what kind of a name is "The Childlike Empress" as a princess that needs to be rescued? Or the "Castle that's shaped like a hand"? Divinely uninspired is what I say to this abomination of a movie. Also, one last thing, WHY DOES BASTIONS DAD NOT CARE ONE BIT THAT HIS OWN SON IS MISSING??? 0/10 would not recommend unless you're trying to make a compilation of terrible movies.