Naterdave 1028

This movie is nothing. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s not even funny, it’s just nothing.

This is mostly a response to the 5 star reviews this show is somehow getting. The problem with this show isn’t that it’s different from other Scooby Doo adaptations, or that the characters’ races changed, or that Scooby Doo isn’t in it. The problem with this show is LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT. I like black Shaggy/Norville. Black Shaggy is fine. You know what isn’t fine? Constantly taking jabs at your audience and being an antagonistic pos. If you hate adults who watch cartoons so much, and you hate anti-woke people, and you hate woke people, then who in the actual hell is this show for? Not fans of cartoons, you rip on them constantly. Not anti-woke people, you’re constantly making woke jokes. Not woke people, you constantly make just as many anti-woke jokes as well. Not Scooby Doo or Hanna Barbera fans who have gotten older, Scooby isn’t even in it and, again, you make cartoon fans look like entitled pricks. There’s trying and failing to make an enjoyable experience, and then there’s failing to try. Guess which category this one falls under.

Wasn’t the best movie I’ve ever seen. If it was released in theaters I’d doubt it would’ve changed anything. First of all, you have Josh Gad narrating in most of the film (because screw the “show don’t tell” rule). Also, we HAVE to talk about some of the effects. Some of the effects will tell you that this film was OBVIOUSLY meant to be played in 3D. I feel like what could’ve been some good scenes were thrown out in favor of 2008 cgi. Some of the make-up and practical effects you could find in Monty Python or Princess Bride. But, if I think it’s bad, then why am I giving it 2 stars? Well, because it’s not all bad. I like the idea of a super intellect boy going against a bunch of fairy tale creatures to save his father, but how it was put into action I don’t like. And it’s short. I mean, dang, in the end who cares if a movie is good or bad when it’s only an hour and a half long? Which, of course, is another thing I found bad about the movie. I won’t spoil it, don’t worry, but there’s really nothing to spoil. The ending is really confusing and leaves more questions than answers, but right when it’s about to get good and the adventure is REALLY about to start, the movie just abruptly stops. It just holds a shot of the sun for about 30 seconds and then the credits start rolling. But what really killed it for me was the designs of the creatures. I mean, seriously??? When it gets to the part where it shows us the underground city, I was met with MAJOR disappointment. The creatures are designed to their most basic form. The dwarves are short people, save for josh gad, the goblins have long ears and noses, the fairies have pointy ears and butterfly wings, the centaur is literally a guy with horse legs cgi’d onto his body, and the mountain troll is giant and aggressive. This is the most basic and cliche designs for these creatures, and I’m surprised they didn’t try to do anything different.

Everything that made the first 3 games good, this game isn’t. Instead of a new cast of wacky characters, you get the same old cast, and even if there are new characters they’re more likely just the same species as any other Mario game. Instead of an amazing story with a satisfying ending, you get the same old Mario vs Bowser story that’s almost forgettable. Instead of a innovative game mechanic that changes the way you play the game, you get...stickers. Just work overtime at your job to buy a Wii or GameCube or even a Nintendo 64 and just play the other 3 games. It would be more worth it.

I’m just pissed off that they practically trolled everyone. They said we were getting a season 6, instead we got this show. To make it more insulting, they use references to the old show. Almost like they’re teasing us. Like they’re saying “yeah, we know you wanted season 6, but you’re never going to get it.” The closest thing we seem to have is titans on dc universe. But still, I will never forgive this show for taking away what was once promised.

Oh, wow this was worse than I thought. I just...what can I even say? Imagine being high on cough syrup, and yours weared off first so you had to be the first one to realize how dumb and creepy everyone was acting. That’s this movie in a nutshell. The opening act is creepy. They make sure to zoom in on their creepy faces. And they dance around the “lead character” (if you can even call her that) in just a unsettling and unappealing way. I guess the villain was sort of cool? I liked the part where he turned that one billboard into a wanted poster for himself. But then you get to the songs. Oh, boy. When I saw the play I thought it was weird, but this takes it to a whole new level. The actors are on all fours half the time, and gets really sexual. Then, the lead character starts, dancing? She dances ballet at random times for no reason and it’s never explained. Also, there’s the fat cat song. This is obviously one of the creepiest parts of the film and I just felt uncomfortable during this part. The movie wants to show they hate us by showing MORE grotesque creatures of this universe. Yeah, because that’s what I want to see. Mice with children faces and Beatles whose faces are just pasted on the cgi model. Not to mention how they’re eating them constantly. And then rebel wilson rips off her skin to reveal a jazz outfit? Idk, it was just a creepy scene. It’s also overly sexual. The actors get too close to each other to the point where it’s creepy. We’re talking the actors scratching a little too close down there, not to mention the weird angles they show. Also, the camera suffers from the Office camera where it feels like it’s moving all the time. Except when they did it it was funny, but when they did it it was torture. Then there’s the lead character. You might of noticed I put quotes the first time I said that. That’s because strangely, she’s barely in it. We’re lucky if we get to see her talk. Speaking of talking, the dialogue. Oh my god the dialogue. It’s either barely present, where they sing a song, say a sentence, and then it just goes into another song, or it’s super boring to the point where it’s dragging on. Also, the producers are insane. Not because they made it, but because they had the obdacity of releasing this the SAME DAY AS STAR WARS! Are they crazy?! You know your movie is going to flop when you release it the same month as a Star Wars movie, let alone the same DAY?! Also, the production stand point is very weird too. It suffers in the same categorie as polar express and monster house. If the movie is called cats and it’s about cats, why didn’t they make them actual cgi cats? If they wanted to closely match the stage play, why not just use make up? Honestly the movie would’ve been better if they made them actual cgi cats. The only other movie that was competing with them for the uncanny valley was Sonic, but since they redesigned him they’re the only movie that’s uncanny. All around the movie is a mess. If you want to see it, go see the stage play. It’s less creepy and makes more sense.