Jordan Anderson

This review contains a true story that is quite sad. There is a good reason that I hate having read this book, and here it is: I read this book in third grade. This was the year when our family decided to get a dog. Our family rescued a dog from an abusive situation. His name was Nicky, a standard poodle with severe trust issues. He was constantly terrified, didn’t know how to play, and never seemed happy. We got a second dog from a breeder to help him cope. Over the years we gained Nicky’s trust, and he revealed himself to be the most loving dog anyone could imagine. It was in large part thanks to his relationship with Leo, our second dog. It’s been 14 years since I read this book as a child, but I still vividly remember the ending. It has haunted my mind in these last couple of years where Nicky’s health has been declining. Nothing scared me more than the thought that, when one dog passed, the other would wither away. In February of this year we had a scare. Nicky just suddenly stopped breathing. The vet miraculously saved him, but I had already given up in my mind. My body shut down for over a week. I wasn’t eating, and I lost a lot of muscle density. I couldn’t stop thinking about how any moment now he would die, then our second dog would give up. Therapy helped me recover, but I struggled to get back into school and ended up failing some of my college courses. Thankfully, Nicky was able to be there with me, and his presence was soothing. Yesterday Nicky had trouble breathing again. The vet told us that his kidneys were shutting down, and the only thing to do was euthanize him. He is gone now. I don’t know how long it will take before I heal this time, but I remain terrified for Leo’s mental health. They have always done everything together, and truly were brothers. So many things have been changing in my life. My parents divorced, and I just helped my mom move in to her house a few days ago. I need to retake my classes, and obviously COVID has impacted everything we do. Now, thanks to the impact this book had on me as a kid, I will also be forced to deal with the fear of my second dog. It has been paralyzing me, and I feel nothing but remorse for reading this book. Please, be cautious when reading this book. It has brought so much needless pain into my life. I love you so much Nicky.