Kristy Raymond

If Claustrophobia and Shortness of Breath wanted the perfect movie for their date night, this would be it, hands down. It's not a bad movie. The plot is kind of a moving target, but it works hard. Worth watching with commercials, but I wouldn't pay cash. In a post-pandemic sci fi drought, this movie will do just fine.

This movie wants to be trippy. Visually, it has all the tools it needs. Some of the actors are even pretty good. As you whiplash through each scene you're hoping you'll remember enough to make sense of it. And then just about the time you're sick to death of keeping track of the relentless minutiae, POW! Nothing happens. You're fed a lunchbox of maybes when you were promised an explanation. This is horse poo. It's not artistic or compelling. It isn't smart enough to be cerebral, or fun enough to be brain candy. It's just... Messy.

No joke. Loved this movie. It kind of rolls like "Happy!" (Crazy- weird TV series starring Christopher Meloni of SVU fame. If you haven't seen it, put the kids to bed early and binge it.) It has all the likelihood of "Office Uprising" and all the panache of the original "Evil Dead." I actually love Nicholas Cage. He may have made some questionable choices, but this movie isn't one of them. Go ahead. Watch it. It's good sh*t.

I want to like this movie. I love Bautista. My love for zombies goes back to Romero's first NOTLD. The "crew" is a fun mix of personalities with the added benefit of looking different from each other (a rare treat anymore.) I WANT to like this movie. My only hope is that it could be a prelude to a nice, local, 2 player co op campaign video game for a system I already own. Delusional optimism is my super power, and Army of the Dead plays like one loooong cut scene. This is a stupid, stupid movie. It is every movie ever made crammed into a wet grocery bag. I could have forgiven it if it wasn't SO BLESSED LONG. If it had been 80 mins, 90 mins, I could have gotten in and out and been happy for the romp. Nope. A montage of montages.

Didn't like it. You're completely left to your own devices to find a plot line, and the ending is the sci fi equivalent of "and it was all a dream!" An hour and thirty seven minutes that I can never get back.