Flannery Morgan

'Congratulations to M. Night Shyamalan's infamous "The Last Airbender" film! I am proud to say you are no longer the film by which all things bad is measured. I am, however, sad to report that this film has taken its place.'

'Watching Death Note is the equivalent of informing an acquaintance that you like mashed potato. That night, said acquaintance breaks into your house, ties you to a share, and force feeds you mashed potato until you are bloated and biting back bile. The characters lack depth, there are no real moral grey areas here, yet this show is insistent on dressing itself up as something that is dark, edgy and morally ambiguous. What Death Note is exceptional at, however, is pretending it is a good series. When the opponents, L and Light, are introduced, they are essentially identical in nature, with only variations in method. Throughout this series, we are basically watching one person play chess with themselves. When I say it is a chess game, it fails even at that. There are no stakes, there is no tension; and if we observe the aftermath, we find that the entire events of the series are ultimately as meaningless as the plot itself. The writers were clearly hooked on the use of Deax Ex Machina to rescue Light at every turn; in any other situation, he would have been found out. Case in point, Light only defeats L by using a rule that was introduced an episode or two earlier; clearly designed as a plot device to keep the show going. And, finally, Light's logic is flawed. And I do not mean from a moral standpoint, but fundamentally at every turn. Nine times out of ten, his plans rely on risks and guesswork instead of actual certainty, which is poor writing for a character written in as an intellectual. Moments before he kills him, he actually exposes his identity to Ray Penber in a crowded subway, where somebody could have quite easily overheard his confession and reported him to the police. All the characters resort to vile and despicable means to achieve their varied goals, and their desires; most of which are generally unrealistic. Unrealistic because they, either, do not have any realistic reasons for wanting to achieve said goals, or in the sense that their reasons could easily be overcome with a trip to the psychoanalyst.'