Norma Jane

SPOILERY This movie is very literally impossible to watch, start to finish. Even if you for some disconcerting reason enjoy gore and kronenbergy putridity, this is still impossible to even glance at. It's not just that it's so ferociously revolting in concept and visual execution, it's that it is all far too excessive, prolonged, ultimately almost entirely meaningless, and renders the film's major themes secondary or even irrelevant. A totally impoverished vision of the filmmakers vomits itself onto the viewer, sadistically. Perhaps it is deemed "body horror" solely because the project has no mind, heart, or soul. This is more appropriately a dystopian allegory of "becoming a mother" than "investing in cosmetic obsessions/aging." I don't even particularly understand how this film is supposedly representing the latter: there is a flimsy theme of "media pressure, fears of aging, and self-loathing;" yet, the storyline, dynamics, messages, tone, greater network of themes, and all of the symbolism carry the trauma narrative of Pregnancy, Birth, Motherhood, Mother-Daughter Bonds, Self-sacrifice, and Generational or Genetic Curses. So I see The Fly + Carrie + Requiem for a Dream, with the intention more or less of Rosemary's Baby. That's what this useless, confusing, and shockingly derivative drivel essentially is... with mere allusions to the beauty industry tacked on as a means to completely misunderstand, confound, and/or ignore its own point. It's messy and heinous with zero substance. It has a way of trivializing its own self, selling its soul for something wacky and shallow to cut in and take over. I understand that's what the film is about, but the filmmakers/film should be depicting that, not actually becoming it. The thing cannibalizes itself and its own makers horrendously and unwittingly on a world stage. It is grotesque most of all for how it mindlessly and irresponsibly misconceives its own self.

1. Two unattractive girls have been cast to portray beautiful women somehow in this film. They are not only ugly, but horrible actresses with no sense of actual humor or a trace of personality to work with. 2. There's no watchable or digestible plot, the sequences of events cast no effect on the story or the characters or their dynamics, and their "dynamics" are nonexistent to begin with, because nobody here can properly deliver their lines much less attempt feigning chemistry. In conclusion, I don't know who tf this film is even made for. If you're looking for comedy, too bad. If you're looking for friendship tales, too bad. If you're a perv who just wants to watch hot chicks/dudes, also too bad. If you're looking for romance, surprises, adventures, warmth, fun, too bad. If you're just looking to kill time or create white noise, still too bad, because this film makes time stand still, and the audio is grating.

A ton of winsome elements and an intriguing setup, but this is a terrible show. It's like a team of AI wrote and depicted it into existence: there is no meaningful or even human aspect, and it's painful because you see how deeply human they attempted to make this story and these characters. The girl who plays Ingrid does a great impression of Alexis from Schitt's Creek, so that might be nice to rewatch. But otherwise, the acting is unspeakable and the chemistry between characters is cheap. The plot holes and leaps are what murder the watching experience most of all. In every single episode, you will experience minimum two or three very jarring leaps in logic that completely defy the setup of the world you're trying to remain invested in. Beyond even that, every other episode introduces some wild new "update" or plot twist that should completely "upgrade" the adventure and pacing to shift the trajectory of all things here, until the episode ends and you never see the effects or changes moving through the rest of the series. You realize they just needed filler for an episode. It comes off like a purely experimental trial series, like I said, where the creators actually just used AI to build everything just to see if the audience would even notice. It's like a freaking turing test for viewers to determine whether we are humans and can notice the difference or robots who will ingest anything in pixel form.

One of the best of its genre and generation, no doubt. Not a single moment of boredom, pointlessness, or cheap misdirection through this film. Not a predictable beat or turn, yet still really in-keeping with the greater conventions of this genre, like a tribute film that is entirely its own crazy-cool vision. It is respectful even as it disrespects classic horror + culture tropes, somehow. Entertaining, engaging, thrilling, nerve-wracking, innovative, hilarious, smart, rewarding. Masterful pacing, fight scenes, unraveling, acting, editing, symbolism, and tone management. Outstanding use, treatment, application, progression, and awareness of their own time travel rules. Really not messy or very plot-holey, and really fun to see "Mandela Effect" and other paradoxes naturally justified by the sequences of this film. This movie is also self-aware and responsible: the murders are not wildly gory or violent, and the primary message of cultural evolution is handled so meaningfully through the medium of playful, youthful comedy.

I understand her father was famous, but how could that be enough to let her keep doing this to us? She's made so many films, and they're all so bad. It's like she has zero understanding of even the most basic human condition and zero idea how to put a basic story together. This is a terrible film. This is barely even a film. There is no actual subject matter anywhere, the acting is an embarrassment, even the soundtrack is painfully dull. This is her fifth film that I've forced myself to watch, and I just can't believe it. Her only trademark as a director is like middle-school mood boards collage-ed into lowly school projects people keep calling films. "Dreamy, hazy, boring youth culture floating about pointlessly as a trash bag in the middle of nowhere" plus "kirsten dunst" is all this woman can pretend to understand about reality. And it's taken her like thirty films over thirty years to present this one line of crusty gibberish even remotely.

bbooo0o0orrriiiinnnggggg. It's like if 1984 and The Giver had a baby that was dysfunctionally slow, hollow, unimaginative, talentless, purposeless, and rudderless. Flawlessly designed to put folks to sleep. Zero reason for this film to have been made, zero. Obviously, it was just a front for money laundering or something because that's not a movie, it's a curse pretending to hide in plain sight. a long, fifty-hour curse. doesn't matter that the runtime was only like an hour or whatever, when it was over so was my week honestly.

Maybe it's because I'm not British- I don't know- but I am positive much of the charm of this show goes over my head... lol. I love baking/cooking shows, so I enjoy watching this one by extension; but it does always feel like a group of quirky toddlers is in a playground contest judged by blithe, rich people; though they are surprisingly disarming and sweet. Thus it all somewhat works out as entertainment TV, due to the likability of the people and the kind of adorable energy they aim to carry. Plus Noel Fielding is always a nice addition to anything lol. Further, the contestants are amateurish, in my opinion, and the challenges themselves are quite bland, so it's not particularly fulfilling to see these journeys and results.

It's totally watchable with some really winsome moments in humor, drama, plot routes, and general social commentary. But it's not actually a good show- you know what I mean? The acting is fine; the script is good; the characters are alright; but, nothing that goes down is believable or feasible in the least, and it is kind of annoying to just sit there and let the writers get to be this lazy and plot leap-y in an otherwise "realistic" setup. The characters surrounding the main 3 could use some serious development, or at least a more honest or obvious connection to the main 3 or the plot itself. Among the main 3, not a whole lot of development or change occurs in their dynamic or personal characters. It's a comedy, but it comes off more flat than funny, and though these girls are probably great comedic personalities, they don't shine as such in this show. And, in general, it is kind of a wild misconception on what people are easily allowed to just do and get away with in a given society. So, you won't be bored, and there's a huge chance you will make it through the entire series: but I believe you won't feel very fulfilled on any level as a viewer.

I thought it was awesome... <3 There's a lot of chaos, confusion, and unanswered questions by film's end, so that might be frustrating; but, when you sit and reflect and work to see the coherence and message of what you just watched, I believe you'll be personally satisfied and fulfilled. Mainly because there are many levels and layers to the story, and it can be seen as a number of poignant allegories. It's a fun film to put together post viewing, and it is exciting, intriguing from start to end. It is surreal, absurd, bloody, goofy, artistic and poetic, and it is scary in idea rather than direct presentation- though it's definitely a creepy watch and absolutely unpredictable. The three women do an unbelievable job playing these roles, this must have been such a taxing project to commit to, lol. It's really not some "pretentious pop pseudo-art" garbage the way a lot of reviewers make it out to be: the story itself sheds some commentary on the decadent privilege and entitlement of our era (alongside other themes), so the "childish pop-pomp" of the film is deliberate. It is on theme with the characters and tone here, in what is ultimately quite a deep, painful, and apt allegory for trauma, innocence, and agoraphobia, among others. Kind of a baffling masterpiece- I recommend it <3