jamie hooper

I just binged all six episodes in one go, and for good reason. It’s an astonishing piece of television. From gut-wrenching moments to tearjerkers, from uncontrollable giggles to pure, unfiltered joy, it hits every nerve. I genuinely can’t recall the last time a show stirred so much emotion in me. The writing is razor-sharp, the casting pitch-perfect, and together they deliver something bold, raw, and utterly unforgettable. Thank you for crafting something that’s not only thought-provoking, but a true work of art.

It takes a special kind of incompetence to butcher a game with no plot and still fail to deliver entertainment. But here we are. The Minecraft movie is not a film, it is an endurance test. It is a children’s party thrown by a focus group, attended by actors who should be out of work and directed by someone who evidently despises both children and cinema. The CGI is fine, if your benchmark is a cereal advert. But the acting, God help us, is theatrical malpractice. The lead is a child whose speech is so garbled by a lisp it renders entire scenes unintelligible. One doesn’t mock the affliction, but one may well ask: was this truly the best audition, or merely the safest PR decision? Clarity, once essential to acting, has been sacrificed on the altar of identity. Then comes the obligatory diversity mascot. Not a character, not a contribution, just a checkmark with a speaking part. The lines are delivered in some invented dialect, as if the studio feared audiences might forget the casting choice without constant reminders. It’s not inclusion; it’s intrusion. It drags you out of what little narrative there is, and reminds you the entire thing was made not for art, but for a pat on the back from people who don’t watch films. Everything reeks of cowardice. Not a single risk taken. Not one line uttered that hadn’t been scrubbed clean by a battalion of consultants terrified of offending Twitter. A film for no one, made by committee, for the sake of being made. 3/10. An insult to the senses.

The Crew Motorfest is a limp, hollow imitation, a shoddy knockoff of Forza Horizon 5 that’s not just a waste of your time—it’s a blatant insult to your wallet. Ubisoft, in their infinite lack of originality, took what was once a unique experience in The Crew 1 and gutted it, leaving behind this soulless, Frankenstein’s monster of a game. The Crew 1 had charm, it had identity, and instead of building on that, they’ve decided to rip the beating heart out and slap on a cheap Forza Horizon mask, complete with a knockoff UI so transparent it might as well come with a “generic brand” label. Let’s talk about the car handling—if you can even call it that. Driving in Motorfest feels like you’re stuck in a bad dream where every vehicle is either glued to the road or spinning out of control. Gravity in this game isn’t just your enemy; it’s a relentless tormentor. Catching air on a jump feels less like flying and more like trying to wrestle a boulder in midair. And good luck navigating any twisty roads, because every car is cursed with a dreadful mix of either understeer or oversteer, making every turn feel like you’re fighting against the very soul of the vehicle. Drifting might be marginally better than in The Crew 2, but that’s like saying this swamp is marginally less quicksand than the last one—you’re still sinking. And then there’s the world. The Crew 2 gave us the entire United States, a sprawling playground that, while imperfect, at least had ambition. Motorfest traps you in Hawaii—a location so tiny and uninspired that it makes you question why they even bothered. Hawaii has been done before, and it’s been done much, much better. Here, it’s a bland, lifeless backdrop that fails to spark even a flicker of excitement. You’ll be bored stiff after fifteen minutes of driving through its monotonous landscapes. But let’s not forget the “campaign.” If you can call this lazy retread of Forza Horizon’s formula a campaign. It’s as if Ubisoft didn’t even try to disguise their plagiarism. They’ve copied the structure, the progression, the vibe—right down to the playlists where you’re handed cars you’ll never actually own outside of events. What’s the point of earning money or buying cars when you’re forced to use the game’s loaners for anything that matters? It’s a nonsensical system that kills any incentive to engage with the game’s economy, which is just as well, considering the ridiculous car prices and the inevitable, loathsome microtransactions lurking in the shadows. The vehicle list might be decent, but it’s wasted here. Why bother collecting cars when the game gives you no meaningful reason to use them? You’ll spend more time staring at your collection than actually driving it. And when you do hit the open road, the sheer dullness of the world will sap any enjoyment you might have had. In short, The Crew Motorfest is a shameless, uninspired clone that deserves to be forgotten. Everything it does, Forza Horizon does better, and with far more polish. What stings the most is that Ubisoft had something unique with The Crew 1, but instead of refining and improving it, they went the easy route and churned out this bastardized mess. This isn’t The Crew; it’s a hollow shell, a disgraceful mockery of what once was. Save your time, save your money, and steer far, far away from this wreck.

Ah, where to begin with this absolute jewel of gaming mediocrity? It's as if the developers embarked on a mission to redefine the standards of awfulness, and congratulations are in order – they've outdone themselves. The map rotation, or should I say the utter lack thereof, is a stroke of genius. Why would players want to see their environment from different angles? Clearly, a fixed perspective is what every modern gamer dreams of, a real homage to the golden age of "guess what's lurking in the pixelated shadows." Building something within this game is akin to watching paint dry, but without the satisfying payoff of a freshly decorated wall. The speed is glacial, a thrilling test of one's capacity to endure tedium. And oh, the joy of city linkage! Once you've connected to your capital, that's it—no more building for you. It’s like the developers are the possessive partners of city-building, dictating where and when your creative impulses are allowed to flourish. The AI, on the other hand, is living its best life, free from the constraints of logic and fairness, spawning wonders with the abandon of a deity in its own little universe. It's a beautiful contrast to the player's experience, really—adds a nice touch of existential dread to the gameplay. To call this game unplayable would be to insinuate it belongs in the same category as games that merely suffer from poor design choices. No, this masterpiece exists in a realm of its own, a monument to futility. Suggesting it’s worth a few quid is generous. It’s more like a masterclass in how to not make a game, courtesy of the developers and Sega. And to think, this could've been time spent playing Civilization, but no, we were gifted with this travesty instead. Farewell, Sega brand, your legacy of disappointment is secure with this one.

Nothing new here, just another rinse and repeat title by Ubisoft. Play an older game you’re not missing anything. This isn’t worth £5 let alone £70!

Not even worth a star if you don’t like spending real cash the online game isn’t playable! GTA was bad but this is Silvio Berlusconi having a bunga bunga party bad. In fact its unplayable, the missions are so vague that you really have no idea what to do, this with time limits and no do overs has to put this game in the category of I wouldn’t play it and I certainly wouldn’t pay for the main game if this is what to expect. Rock star games has become like the fast and furious franchise, we all know what to expect and it never gives anything more. Their online gaming though wants to even at this time when the economy is collapsing take that last penny from your clutches. Have to say this is the last rockstar game il buy, I can’t see them coming back from what should be an utter illegal game as you can’t play without spending real cash, and it’s not worth that! It’s like watching paint dry while picking your sling off because of lead poisoning, this excrement shouldn’t ever be allowed to be put on a shelf. It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, this cliché is untrue. My nephew decided to start playing Tetris on his phone, instead of playing this game. I didn't care enough about the game to ask him to stop, or to find a cooler game.

Passing none existent control, AI none existent. Basically this game takes all thats wrong with fifa crumples it all up in to a nice neat package with some new pretty graphics to help sell it and make it look all shiny and new, but in a dung heap, even a plastic bead can gleam like a sapphire. EA should be shun and tard after producing such lose stooled effluent to the paying public!