Teeba Claus

Seems like a cash grab for DeNiro and Norton. I didn’t need to see Norton trying to pull off the corn rows look again. The movie was set in Southeast Michigan, but the actors utterly failed to capture the feeling of Southeast Michigan. “Fargo,” this ain’t. But the cinematography brought me back to my childhood days in Michigan.

This movie didn’t age well. It’s supposed to be a comedy, but I didn’t laugh once. The acting is awful. The relationship between Nicholson and Turner is not credible at all.

Don’t watch this unless you enjoy gratuitous violence and random gunfire.

Dumb plot, poorly acted, way too predictable.

Why am I surprised that Dennis Hopper ruined another flick? He’s such a comically bad actor.

Wonderful movie that leaves one wanting to learn more about the period and situation depicted.

Julianne Moore was horribly miscast in this film.

Very, very boring. Took a 5 minute idea and stretched it out to movie length.

Dreck. Is it possible to give zero stars?

The acting was atrocious. I hesitate to call them characters, because that might imply they had some depth or dimension to them. At best, they were 2-dimensional caricatures. The husband suffers from poor eyesight as he ages while the wife has hearing loss, as if the sum total of our aging is the afflictions that beset us. The dialogue was awful, moving from one non sequitur to the next. What a waste of a talented actor in Ken Leung. While he initially appears to be the intelligent person in the group, his decision to swim for safety was asinine. Let’s see, if I black out in the caves, I stumble back to the beach unconsciously. What did he think would happen if he passed out in the water? Drown maybe? But the characters are stuck on the island with no way out, so the boy robotically remembers the secret coded message. Thank goodness for magic coral that mimics metal tubes. Absolute dreck. The scenery was nice, but if you want to see a poorly constructed beach movie, watch Leonardo DiCaprio in The Beach. The music was awful. Was that song the little girl was singing supposed to be poignant? It just seemed like more over-the-top foreshadowing forced on the audience with no artistic value. If hair doesn’t grow on the beach, explain why the boy had 5 o’clock shadow the next day when he woke up as a 50 year old man.