Thottimus Prime

Cringy, unfunny, almost anti-engaging. Not so bad it's good, but just boring and... corporately cold in every way. Even in sections where the lines were meant to be forced, they fell flatter than paper. "The kids tried their best", is just about all I can say positively about this movie. It's very obviously trying to buy in on the success of the 80's monster horror aesthetic of Stranger Things and It (2018) without any of the actual entertainment or commitment. The outfits, the stereotypes, the references, the weird orange and blue "vintage" filter overlaid on top, the various scenes of all of them biking together... The only "unique" line that brought out a laugh was the one in reference to wine, and that was more like a cough of air. If the plot is bad, the editing is atrocious, the acting is subpar, the "action" is boring, and the jokes just aren't funny, then what's there to enjoy? It tried to parody other movies of its genre and ended up becoming a shell of a movie without any original thought or direction. Like the heads behind it couldn't decide ifthey wanted it to be a parody, or a standalone film: so it stumbled on an awkward, jumbled line inbetween. If you're the type of person who watches movies with your brain turned off, and laughs all giddy at a movie merely referencing anything from ththe eighties or nineties (lol, they said independence day and pennywise, badum tiss!) you might like this movie. Otherwise, it's just another one of those Netflix "trending" movies you'd otherwise skip. Basically: a complete waste of time.