Ally Behn Fox

Don’t get me wrong, this book certainly has its place. For the millions of twenty-somethings who are truly lazy slackers, not taking work, finances, or relationships seriously, this book is a “must-read”. For parents who are sick and tired of their grown child living in their basement playing video games all day, this is definitely the type of book you would subtly give to your kid as a “thoughtful” birthday present. Unfortunately, those types of people (the ones who probably should read this book), are probably not the ones who will, and even if they do, they will probably not be transformed by it. Instead, I would wager to bet that most twenty-somethings like myself who pick up this book to help them get back on track after struggling in their career and relationships, despite their best efforts, were left feeling hopeless and terribly stressed after reading this book. Readers of this review may think that I am just a lazy twenty-something in denial, but trust me, I hear what Dr. Jay is saying. I’ve heard it all before, and I have seen this in many of my peers. Jay totally exhausts the stereotype that twenty-somethings only want to party, date around, and work “easy” jobs. What she refuses to acknowledge is that there are many of us who worked hard to get a good degree, worked hard in our fields, tried our hands at serious relationships, made responsible choices, and still haven’t ended up on top. Dr. Jay all but blatantly comes out and says, “So your boss is a bully? That’s your fault. Deal with it. Don’t stick up for yourself. Being bullied is part of what it’s like to have a real job.” She then goes on to say, “So you haven’t gotten married and had kids yet? That’s your fault. You aren’t trying hard enough. You should have met your soulmate by now. Also, your eggs are drying up. Hurry!” While shaming restaurant and retail workers for their “easy” jobs, she also criticizes any twenty-something who experiences anxiety about work, relationships, and finances for not taking life seriously enough. It is easy for the older generations to look back at our generation and say “you kids just love to complain. Life isn’t easy.” But what they refuse to acknowledge is that many of us are doing the absolute best we can, while refusing to stay miserable. Dr. Jay fully admits in the book that when her clients come to her explaining that they are miserable in a job or relationship, she tells them that’s part of life. Suffer through it. What kind of great advice is that? So, thank you, Dr. Jay, for adding more stress and anxiety to my already overwhelmed brain. I was hoping that your book would help center me after an emotional breakdown about where I am in my life, but instead I am left feeling like I am not good enough the way I am, like I’m not trying hard enough, and like my eggs are drying up and I’ll be alone forever. I am very glad Dr. Jay is not my therapist. Reader beware.