Michael Cowan

The search for intelligent life in the Universe surely is eclipsed by the search for intelligent life in the writers' room. Luckily for me, I don't see a many absolutely horrifyingly bad films very often. This one should hold me for a while. A Hallmark Space Movie might have been less melodramatic than this piece of garbage. For a brief moment, towards the film's end, there was hope of some Conradian encounter with Mr. Kurtz (Col. Kurtz of Coppola's intriguing 'nam interpretation Apocalypse Now) in the form of Tommy Lee Jones' Clifford McBride, but no dice. Just a sappy slomo space wrestling match with Brad Pitt. On the plus side, there are face-eating space monkeys!