April Grove

The acting is like watching a foreign film that was badly dubbed into English, except it's already in English. The writing can best be described as "fever dream" or "12-year-old with a concussion." The characters were inconsistent, annoying, and prone to improbable epiphany and oddly-timed fact spewing. They were like a gaggle of Rainmen without the redeeming card-counting ability. I found myself wishing I myself could age rapidly and die rather than keep watching. Had I been watching it alone, I would've turned it off 10 minutes in. It's easily the worst movie I've seen in my life, which is quite an honor as I'm 48 years old and have seen a pantload of movies. Actually, "pantload" is the perfect description of this film. So, to recap: it's horrible. Don't do it. Pantload.