Fintan Taite

Should have been titled 90 minutes of your life you will never get back. Awe inducingly unfunny script and direction. Poor old liam Nesson. Hes been taking the money and phoning it in for a good few years now but this is something else. He looks and sounds like he's wandered out of a geriatric care home, his movements stiff and his voice almost down to a whisper. To be fair, he's 13 years older than leslie Neilson was in the brilliant original. Let that one sink in! Even Neilson in his pomp could'nt gave saved this mess. At least pam anderson looked great. Going to the cinema these days is starting to become verydepressing, each new release worse than the last.

Unfortunately this dino-turkey is one of the worst films I've seen at the cinema in the last few years. People around me were groaning audibly after a few mins of that awful (indestructible!!) family appearing on screen. None of it made the slightest bit of sense, and there was zero drama or character development. I wouldn't be surprised if the plot and script was generated entirely by chatGPT. When a dinosaur attacks and a character shouts 'run! You know you are in trouble. Even the CG effects were pretty bad, one crazy stupid scene in a yellow dingy looked like bad rear screen projection from a 1950's B movie. There was the possibility of a passably fun film somewhere in this mess. A crack team of badasses fight to survive a savage jungle filled with lethal dinosaurs and return with miracle cure sounds ok to me, if done with a bit of wit, black humour, relentless pace, and the sembelance of a script the actors could do something with. Instead, the makers had to shoe horn in the most boring and indestructable family in movie history because that's the formula. It should have been called nobody dies.

A big NOPE to this terrible film. Some lovely cinematography ruined by an awful script, confusing plot and trite premise. Daniel Kaluuya looks like he wants to kill his agent throughout, and Keke Palmer as his obnoxious sister is completely unbelievable and annoying. It just drags on and on with zero tension or believability..avoid.

The original first 3 seasons of Toast are fresh, funny and original. Unfortunately, Toast of Tinseltown is scraping the bottom of the Toaster for even one decent laugh. The first episode is ok but its all downhill from there. Sad to see a great cast let down by such terrible writing and lazy plots. Even clem Fandango looks subdued! Avoid.