Ivana Cvitanusic

This was a difficult book to read for many reasons. The topic is obviously incredibly raw. The characters are flawed. The protagonist is a deeply damaged young woman who has to hold onto a fantasy to survive the awful entanglement that that she was groomed into. I imagine that anyone who has been sexually assaulted would be very triggered. Having said all of this, I couldn’t put it down. The author walks the line between self loathing and delusion so well. I’m amazed at the people commenting on how “unbelievable” the book is. What part is unbelievable? This happens all the time. The whole point of grooming is to break down the victim and to create doubts in her own mind and heart about what exactly is happening. Vanessa is confused - in one breath she can recognize she’s been abused but she also has to believe there is more to the story. She has to sell herself on the twisted love affair. Otherwise how could she go on for so many years? Her whole identity is based on her dependence on the man abusing her. He makes sure of that. I’ve seen many rate the ending poorly. I couldn’t see any other way for this to end. This wasn’t a book about hope. It wasn’t about some happy ending. This was a book about a young woman’s horrific experience that has come to define her whole life. For those who were disturbed by reading the details - wake up. Abuse isn’t pretty. It isn’t meant to appeal to your sensibilities. It’s meant to make you question humanity at its core. Well written. Deeply disturbing. Difficult to read, yet at the same time impossible to put down. Highly recommended!