Imagine a Greek tragedy in which the Chorus didn’t function as commentary and illumination of the narrative but as the main character itself, with the protagonists reduced to functionaries, responsible for exposition and narrative mechanics. That’s the uncomfortable flaw of Schmgadoon. The two talented leads recite lines dutifully to set up hyperactive musical numbers that fall flat because they don’t relate to narrative action or to characters we actually care about. Key and Strong aren’t allowed to be quirky and humorous; they strenuously recite lines that serve only to reinforce the two-dimensionality of their characters, while the chorus burns calories gyrating through numbers that, as a result, feel lifted off a phonograph record, not set against the two humans they’re supposed to be teasing, teaching, illuminating. You get the feeling the numbers were created first and Key and Strong were inserted afterwards as playbill bling but given no space or time to develop their own voices or their own chemistry.