Max Kosterlitzky

As simply as I can say this, the MLA Handbook is the pinnacle of human perfection. We have strived as a species to reach greatness throughout all of time, with the pyramids of Egypt to South America, works of art ranging from brushstrokes of masters on canvas or cave wall alike. Temples and statues and music, all crafted of the human thought for the sole purpose of reaching perfection of another realm, and today I am blessed to live in the era of which we have found it in the MLA Handbook. When I first discovered this gift to man,I was trekking through the great mountains of Tibet, where after 7 years of trying to reach spiritual enlightenment, this book appeared to me in a haze of blinding light, which made only this book visible to me. I read it 1,000 times when it was first given to me and upon my return to the sanctuary, I could speak in cursive, see new colors, taste music. Later after I had shared this masterpiece with my brothers, we noticed that we had all begun to weep tears of honey and gold. Upon my return to America I forced my family and the children in my basement to recite this text in song, some were not capable of such power and perfection, like my wife and son, and for this they were turned blind and ascended into some celestial realm. I am wholeheartedly convinced this book may accomplish any feat and lust for any knowledge it may bestow. This book has cured all illnesses to ever afflict me and and has allowed me to speak with celestial beings. Through this book I sang, danced, wept, yelled, and experienced every emotion that man can or can not experience. I give this wealth of knowledge to you my brothers and sisters, and bud you all a great eternity of prosperity under this book.