HONEST REVIEW: 28 Years Later (aka 28 IQ Points Lower)
⭐ 2/10 — and that’s generous.
Look, I loved 28 Days Later. I liked 28 Weeks Later. But 28 Years Later? This ain’t it. This isn’t even in the same infected ZIP code.
Let me break it down a bit.
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🧟♂️ 1. Fat Zombies.
Apparently, in this universe, even during the apocalypse, calories are in abundance. These infected look like they’ve been surviving off canned gravy and DoorDash. You expect me to believe they’ve been running around for 28 years and still haven’t lost a pound? Please.
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🍆 2. Naked Zombies Everywhere.
I don’t know if the costume budget ran out or the director just has a nudity kink, but I saw more zombie junk than character development. Why is everyone naked? Was this filmed at Burning Man: Outbreak Edition?
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🧠 3. Talking Zombies.
One of them literally says “Yes!” in the opening scene. YES?? No. That alone should've shut the whole production down. We went from rage-fueled maniacs to bargain-bin Resident Evil knockoffs. Why are zombies talking?! This isn’t Land of the Dead. This is Land of the Dumb.
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🏹 4. Random Medieval Flashbacks?
Every 20 minutes, the movie randomly cuts to archers in chainmail firing volleys of arrows. Is it symbolism? A metaphor? Someone high while editing? Either way, it adds nothing and makes less sense than the fat naked zombies.
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🤘 5. Jimmy the Edgelord
Jimmy (the preacher’s son) appears in the opening, disappears for 90 minutes, and returns for the dumbest death metal zombie kill montage you’ve ever seen. I half expected him to yell “Welcome to Jackass!” and cannonball into a pile of infected.
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👎 6. No Hordes.
You know what I like in a 28 movie? Tension. Panic. Hordes sprinting like hell’s chasing them. This one? I think I saw 9 zombies max, and that was the big scene. It felt more like 28 People Later.
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💉 7. Morphine-Fueled Doctor
There’s a doctor hoarding morphine like it’s 2003. Twenty-eight years after society collapses, but he's got the pharmaceutical hookup like Walgreens never closed. Sure. Makes sense. Definitely.
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🙄 8. Alpha Zombies & Other Trash Tropes
“Alpha” zombies? Really? What is this, a deleted scene from Army of the Dead? The whole beauty of the original films was that the monsters weren’t special. They were just us — infected, angry, raw. Now we’ve got zombie generals doing strategy meetings?
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😐 9. Characters So Bland I Forgot Their Names
There’s not one person to root for. Not one. You could replace them with cardboard cutouts and I wouldn’t notice — except the cutouts might actually deliver better lines.
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🤯 10. Final Thoughts
This movie is the cinematic equivalent of a rotten potato in a 28 Days Later lunchbox. The only thing terrifying about it is that someone approved this script.
If you’re a fan of the first two films, do yourself a favor — skip this one, rewatch Days and Weeks, and pretend this third movie doesn't exist.