C Murray

The best part is when it ends. You would be hard pressed to find a more nonsensical plot, maybe if you found some demented 7 year olds, loaded them up with sugar and spun them around very fast. PREMISE (and I use that loosely) The world is dying because all plants are extinct because of evil virus humanity So there is no oxygen (OH NO) (let's ignore that a huge amount of oxygen comes from the sea, ok, just a movie, just because they use scientificulation wordablage durn't mean it needs to make sense) People survive on factory produced artificial oxygen in cannisters (but huh?) The top scientists, none seemingly very bright, decide that with the last two power modules they would send the most useless, teary eyed, easily baffled, emo, maintenance worker and his drinking buddy to umm, stuff, and other stuff, and, well, they don't really give him a clear mission or goals, more a sort of, hey, you go, good luck and all, the dying Earth is, well, we have no expectations. Now if you think I am being too harsh, one of two things are happening. 1. I am not being harsh enough, you just don't get it. 2. You have suffered a massive cranial injury and have decided beige paint tastes the best and licking windows is quality entertainment. But who am I to judge?

IGNORE THE BAD REVIEWS Ok, this is pretty good. It is an enjoyable film with enough twists and turns, enough drama and comedy to suit pretty much anyone. I went into it based on other reviewers who enjoyed it, ignoring the critics. Glad I did. It is not as cheesy as the original TV show, darker, better. Think this would make a good new series. Just watch it, you will probably enjoy it.

SPIDER MAN, FAR FROM GOOD I am not a comic book aficionado. I do not know what issue 180 did or anything else like that. Like most though, as a kid I watched Spiderman cartoons, read the comics and never really took it that seriously. Thankfully or horribly, neither did the writers of this rubbish. So as I recall, Peter Parker was in college, bitten by a spider, gained his powers. Kind old Aunt May took him in, his Poor old Uncle Ben got murdered. But at least he had one of the hottest girlfriends in the world, the amazing red-head Mary Jane. Kind old Aunt May is not the incredibly hot Marisa Tormei Mary Jane is Zendaya? no idea but what the hey Flash, his one time school nemesis and captain of the football team is played by a guy who looks like he would get beaten up trying to being captain of the debate team. Spidey himself. Well he's about 9 now. Ok maybe not but he is a very very juvenile geeky pointless little guy who seems incapable of making a decision, has no self esteem and really, you would not expect him to save coupons much less the world. the storyline itself blech Did you come to watch Spider Man save the world. NOPE. Instead you get 90% of teenage angst movie stupidity clipped together by a scenario unrealistic even by comic book standards. Now don't get me wrong I am not blaming any of the actors. Blame the writers. Blame the producers. Sure the film made money. Die hards are going to go no matter how bad. It could have been good. That's the thing with all these films, they could have been good. SPOILER watching this film, there's yer spoiler. So Petey having the mind of a child hands over control of ALL of Stark industries offensive/defensive capabilities to a guy he just met and knows nothing about. However, bizarrely as it may seem. This guy already seems to have access to a billion dollars of Stark stuff already and just adds to his stuff. No explanation on how he has all of Stark's cool toys already. We can only guess that Tony is very careless, as is his entire corporation and they just left a cargo ships worth of tech lying about in a box marked throw out

2 men, alone on a space ship, planning a mass murder. Their goal, to bore everyone who watches it to death. This is a film that best exemplifies everything wrong with script writing. It was an interesting 5 minute short stretched painfully and pointlessly into 2 hours. The vast majority of this drek consists of extended shots of one or the other generally doing nothing. It ends, oh thank the stars, it finally ends, absolutely pointlessly. No, seriously. It ends and you wonder why you watched it. Thank goodness for the ability to jump ahead on streaming services. If you were forced to watch this without that, it would probably be considered cruel and unusual punishment. I teach creative writing and this contains elements of everything you should not do.