Shplizzions Bruck

Did I just watch an Oscar winning actress in her prime star in a nonsensical, made for TV rom-com? I know that Netflix, Prime and other platforms are pushing quantity over quality but how did This script Ever get into Reese Witherspoons hands, let alone her agreeing to it?!? Are the Hollywood elite really hurting for money right now? The acting is good, (as expected from multiple award winning actors) but it was often accompanied by over the top, melodramatic scenes where they tried Desperately to tug at heartstrings or create tension with little to no actual content surrounding it… The writing is predictable, sloppy and in No way believable. NO SANE WOMAN who has two young Girls whom she is Raising, would move her one night stand and his two buddies into her million dollar home which is filled with millions of dollars worth of memorabilia the First night she met them! Let alone, let one of these freeloaders drive her 11 year old daughter Alone to school the next day!! And that’s just the start of the ridiculousness! The whole movie Was unbelievably Rushed as they crammed what should have been at Least a years worth of bonding time between characters and love interests into a mere few days (Literally!! I’m almost positive that all of these strong bonds and emotional connections Actually took place in the span of a week!) making these relationships not just improbable but completely impossible!! As a divorced woman in my 40’s with two daughters of my own the trailer intrigued me…unfortunately, the trailer was the best part of this film.

Where to start...I have seen a Lot of B list horror movies lately and this one ranks down there with “The Uninvited Visitor” where the ever moving Sandwich steals the show! (if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know Exactly what I mean and if you haven’t seen it you are very fortunate). Mermaid Down is hilariously terrible in every possible way. From the ever changing plot which never stays in its own lines of reality, to the overly stereotypical characters who all must of graduated from the B-List School of Overacting, to the shoddy camera work and confusing sets that had no plausibility whatsoever, this film took bad B-list horror movies to another much lower level. I’ve got to admit that the utter stupidity of this movie Did make me laugh out loud several times, that alone earned it my one star rating but I would still never recommend it to even my worst enemies. The characters include a Mermaid who gets cut in half and miraculously grows legs and is somehow fluent in American Sign Language, a psychopathic psychiatrist serial killer who’s goals are only to kidnap, torture and kill, two predictably inept, buffoonish orderlies who apparently work 24/7, the somewhat competent and compassionate nurse who’s heart is Much bigger than her brain, a bevy of stereotypical unrealistic patients who apparently all share one small bedroom within an entire “Psychiatric Hospital”...and a ghost, who can communicate with only two characters and can interact with the physical world and move heavy objects but apparently can’t help out when her patient friends are getting slaughtered. This movie was a confusing mess from beginning to end.

I expected a lot more from this film based on the trailer. From the cheesy score throughout the film which reminded me of those Hallmark after school specials, to the terrible dialogue and unsteady and often time wasting plot, I seriously thought I was watching a low budget made for TV movie. I really can’t believe they got so many recognizable talented actors to star in or make cameos in this disaster of a film. I’m beginning to think Nicolas Cage is either getting desperate for roles or he said yes to this part without reading even the first page of this script. Usually I get in to specifics when writing a review but there was So much wrong with this movie from start to finish that my review would end up being the size of a short novel, and like watching this movie, it is really not worth my time.

This was just terrible. I found myself caught between shaking my head or exclaiming “Come on!” at the absurdity of the apparent capabilities and flip flopping of intelligence and emotions this film wanted the audience to believe. My Top criticism would be that they wanted me to believe that after being in a horrific plane crash, virtually starving and hardly drinking for 10 days, and some with Major injuries, that the main characters still have the strength to swim a Mile across from two different islands SEVERAL times a day?!? Come on!! I had high hopes for this film based solely on the trailer and the only positive thing would be some of the acting. I don’t recommend it because I can’t believe I actually made it through to the end. And could someone Please tell me why two different actresses played the role of Eva?