Brian Malik

I want the 1hr 26min of my life back that I wasted watching this rubbish.

Shockingly acted and constructed....High school-play level of performances, even from John Savage. Obviously a film with almost no budget, has an assortment of islanders including a talentless Cook Islands "actress" playing the Chiefess, stumbling around vacant fields and Gilligan's Islands sets. Mira Sorvino was frighteningly awful as well despite her acting awards. Even the bland script and untalented direction should not have been so bad that a couple of actors like Savage and Sorvino were not capable of bringing something to the screen other than open palmed hand waving only seen in a kindergarten nativity play. Pele must be pretty freaking angry to have had this story portrayed in such an insultingly talentless manner. The whole film, all of its existing copies and anyone responsible for such a waste of cinematic atoms should be thrown into a volcano.