Keith Mulhearn

Now then, now then ! It's six hours since l came out of the cinema after watching 28 years later and it's only now, l feel like the drugs have worn off. I think l was entertained, but it was difficult to work out if it wasn't some hallucinogenic coma l'd been in for the last two hours, or if what l'd just seen was actually real. It started with the strange flashbacks to Agincourt and the crappy earworm song that seemed to go on for 20 minutes, all of which were never really explained. Probably the weirdest moment came when one of the infected, gave birth, this means that at some point, there's been zombie sex and l'm guessing that the Alpha called Samson was the father. As he, like most of them, spent the whole film naked, it was obvious to see why the infected mother still had tears in her eyes nine months later. Sampson was also involved with one of the films big question's, why didn't the doctor kill him when he had the chance ? As a collector of trophy's and body parts, he could have had a right result. There were also quite a few strange moments, like when Spike climbed the tower of skulls, which incidentally must have taken ages to build, all while fighting off lunatics wanting to eat you. He went all the way up before placing his dead mum's skull, with the same feeling as sticking the star on top of the Christmas tree. Not a tear in sight for his euthanised mother, but he did manage to give her a final kiss where her nose used to be. The only real scare of the whole film was provided by a frightened fox, though there was plenty of blood and gore to make up for it. I could feel it was getting close to the end and l was trying to work out the pro's and con's in my head, when the final scene gave me the result. After very quickly going from crap shot with a bow and arrow, to Robin Hood's sports teacher, Spike found himself up against a hoard of infected, only to be saved by a Jimmy Saville tribute act. They'd obviously got the letter which read something like this, "Dear Jim, please, please can you fix it for me to be rescued from a gang of zombie flesh eaters, thanks, little Spikey". There's no doubt, this was the most surreal scene, in any film ever and what American audiences will think of the cigar chomping pedophile is anyone's guess or indeed, if they have any clue whatsoever who he was. Despite all this, l think l did enjoy it, though maybe it would have been better as a stand alone film, along with the two planned sequels, then it wouldn't have spoilt my memory of the previous two fantastic stories. Maybe the next one should be called 28 beers later, cos l think l'll need to be p****d to see it.