Sam Dam

Extremely poor series that doesn’t seem to have any coherence. The regular contradictions, inexplicable decisions, poorly-timed humour, and unclear, changing motivations make it impossible to engage with any of the storyline or characters. This seems to have been written by someone that has literally no idea how people think and act, how things work, or how to create coherent entertainment. Absolutely avoid this abysmal show at all costs.

Disappointing is a huge understatement. The script is half-baked, the characters have absolutely no depth and the plot is senseless. The music is dire - an auto tuned, generic, poorly written pop soundtrack which seems more like some budding artist’s mediocre and unsuccessful demo album than a movie score, in which almost every song sounds the same. Even the villain song has the same major key, strumming, boppy feel and conveys absolutely no sense of threat or tension. The musical numbers are often poorly integrated. For instance, several songs begin mid-conversation seemingly at random which disrupts the flow of the dialogue. The first song is also used to explain the entire premise of society and workings of the world, which is vital to understand to set the context of the whole film, but way beyond the ability of young children to grasp in that fast-paced and distracting delivery method. Lyrics are often poor and meaningless which adds to the artificial, rushed feel of the whole experience. The plot: a disjointed social justice story dressed up as a fairytale. Protagonist demonstrates incredibly inappropriate narcissistic and selfish behaviour right from the start and throughout, is called out on this several times, yet somehow becomes a beacon of altruism by pure chance, despite being driven by a lack of understanding or appreciation of society as a whole. Her journey of self-discovery is… there isn’t one, she was right all along. Don’t consider other views, don’t attempt to broaden your thinking, don’t engage in healthy discourse, don’t empathise, don’t compromise. Here’s how to be a hero: make snap emotional judgements, destroy what you don’t like or understand, disregard others’ feelings, remain tightly closed to any advice, and never ever ever stop to think. Not the kind of message I would like my or anyone else’s children to take away and build their understanding of the world with, thanks. Villain is a very weird choice and his arc makes absolutely no sense. He has built a peaceful and prosperous society through unwavering strong values and decades of selfless service to his people. Early on when shamelessly accosted by our hero, he is questioned on his motivation and reasoning for quality-assuring and strictly limiting which wishes are granted. He provides a clear, succinct, rational explanation which sadly falls on deaf ears (because being a hero is about closing your mind, remember). He is forced into evil through desperation, as he sees society threatened by powerful, invasive magic and unrest in the population, and feels he has nowhere else to turn. Not for reasons of self-protection or personal power, but to restore order and peace in society. Misguided perhaps, but certainly not immoral. His story of redemption is… nothing - he is evil forever, everything was his fault and now he is locked inside an object on the wall of the dungeon forever. His loving, loyal wife does not shed a tear, has zero empathy or regret, and shows nothing but casual satisfaction as she banishes him for eternity. The very fabric of the utopian, wonderous society we were introduced to at the beginning is completely destroyed. What’s the plan? Will things ever be as good as they were? None of that matters anymore. The End. All in all, a discoherent shambles of a movie that would never have seen the mainstream were it not being peddled by a gigantic, pervasive organisation.

Reading these other one star reviews is very cathartic, thanks everyone. I can only imagine the plot and script writing process was similar to trying to hit a word count for an essay on a subject you know nothing about. Take loads of pro plus, stay up til 5am, close off your mind and just keep typing til you get to the end. Guess what? You failed miserably. Spoilers, agree with all plot holes others have pointed out, can I add for the final scene: - why do the characters look literally identical after 18 years? Not even an attempt to make them look aged in any way, apart from the detective having bought new glasses. Woop. - WHY IS THE DETECTIVE THERE? What a weird situation to contrive to get everyone together for a conclusion. May as well invite the football coach and Corey the whistle in for a cuddle with the baby as well. Final thought… Maya’s death was stupidly selfish orphaning her daughter, and almost certainly achieved absolutely nothing. That family has multiple top rate legal teams at their disposal that would eat this kind of stuff for breakfast and have water-tight plans in place by 9am the very next day. Anything that was said about past crimes or fake test results was done so under duress to appease an armed intruder, nothing more than speculation, and by the time any investigation started the company nuclear button would have been pressed, all evidence would be destroyed and all the right people would have been paid off. Pick a few fall guys in middle management and/or settle with a few token victims if needs be. Bit of bad press to fend off for a while, keep a low profile and toe the industry line for a bit until it dies down. And that’s worst case scenario. No way is that behemoth of a company feeling any significant negative effects from some lunatic breaking in and spouting hearsay accusations with absolutely no evidence. It’s a mind-bogglingly horrendous way to present your case. The killer brother has an obvious defence of being distressed, protecting his home and elderly mother from an aggressive, unpredictable, self-confessed murderer who has already killed his sibling and boasts a reputation for “putting guys like you on the floor”, who he knows owns a giant collection of guns, has a tendency for violence and narcissism at the best of times, had broken in with a lethal weapon and could well have multiple others on her person. Almost certainly he gets acquitted. Total gain from the entire exercise = nothing. What a rubbish martyr. She would have been much more successful (and alive) by simply denying her part in Joe’s murder (for which their is no useable evidence) and passing on everything else to the police for them to handle and investigate. That in itself would lead to a satisfying conclusion but wouldn’t have the big stupid showdown they were so desperate for or the nonsensical “twist” of her voluntary death. Anyway this show is terrible but writing this review has made me feel better about how much time I’ve wasted… ironically by wasting more time.

Very strange show. No consistency or reason to any of the characters’ personality, decisions or actions. It’s like it was written by a robot who doesn’t understand how humans think, behave or communicate.

It’s like a computer game from the late 90s… there’s constant talk of this big city of 10,000 people, but all we get to see is a tiny linear slice of it, most of the time following wooden, one-dimensional characters and a few convenient NPCs to help move the plot along. Said plot is clunky and slow at the best times. The dialogue is simplistic and delivered in an over-deliberate style more at home in an amateur dramatic production at your local theatre. Watch out for people angry, outraged or in hysterics for one sentence only, people “being interrupted” by stopping talking voluntarily a split second before the other person speaks, fights that break out of nowhere for no reason and are over in 10 seconds, and the silliest one has to be every time someone is in a rush, they “accidentally” smash into easily-avoidable NPCs along the stairwell or corridor. Watch these last ones carefully - you can see them aiming or in some cases reaching out with their arms to make contact, which makes no sense whatsoever; I presume it’s supposed to give the illusion of a crowd when it’s not really a crowd. In fact, it’s NEVER busy! The stairwell is the only way up and down, and everyone we meet seems to live and work on different levels, yet there is no hint of rush hour? All this means the show is impossible to believe or get into, as you are constantly jarred back to reality by unanswered questions, bizarre behaviour, and stupidly unrealistic decisions and events. Very strange that such a high-profile show has such low standards.

I'm sure you can probably tell by looking at a sample of reviews sorted by date - this show used to be good, then slowly destroyed itself over the course of the final season, which this review focuses on. Spoilers follow. There are a couple of pivotal and exciting moments here and there (if you can handle the plot holes), but on reflection, about 90% of S4 consists of the same people driving around the same locations having the same conversations with the same people, occasionally pointing guns at each other if they get angry. Now don’t get me wrong - I don’t mind a bit of boring filler while I wait patiently for the payoff - but it’s excessive, and the payoff never comes. Throughout S4, we are still wading through the same main storyline - the Byrdes' struggle to navigate through the threats and killings of the big bad cartel. The problem is, it isn't shocking or scary anymore, and it just goes round and round in circles. It becomes mundane, boring and more like a soap opera - who cares which boss runs the cartel and who strikes a deal with who? It makes no difference anymore. Marty went to Mexico and needed to prove himself as a cartel hard nut - the slightest sign of weakness, we were told, and they'd overthrow him. Would he sink or swim? Oh, neither - he'll just be his apologetic bumbling self, then come back home next episode - end of storyline. Great. Ruth took revenge for her family, spent endless hours reflecting and reminiscing, cleaning her record, building a new life - would she finally make something of the Langmore name and legacy? Nope, she just gets killed by an angry Mexican woman we've barely met. Awesome. The sibling cartel bosses are starting to realise that all isn’t as it seems with Javi’s death - what is their plan for the Byrdes once they figure out they’re being played? Oh, they actually don’t figure it out. Wow. The kids have finally come to the realisation that their mother's a maniac, will they move against her? Escape? What will they do with their lives? Oh nothing, they'll just go back home. Cool. Marty gets told by countless characters, including his own children, that he’s become downtrodden and blindly does Wendy's evil bidding, and by the end, he's starting to realise it himself - at what point will he resurrect his assertive self from earlier seasons, and finally stand up for himself and his children? Oh, never. Woop. Will Wendy succeed in getting lots of off-screen rich people (cue name dropping another random meaningless surname and saying "wow, you got them on board?") to do something complicated with a foundation so she could have influence over fictional politics that have no bearing on the show? Nobody cares. I could go on, but essentially every storyline is repetitive, drawn out, and eventually concludes in nothing. Well, I was considering cancelling Netflix - thanks for making my mind up for me!

As a fan of Firefly and Castle, I thought this would be a sure fire hit for me - sadly I was disappointed. The entire institution seems based on the premise that the more senior you are, the more right you have to be arrogant and bully people, and the more junior you are, the more you should expect to be shouted at and be the butt of every joke - and the only way out is to ‘prove yourself’. This emotionally-stunted schoolyard attitude seems endemic across the whole force, including the characters we are supposed to like. We are expected to root for Fillion to win and value these people’s respect, rather than call out and dismiss their childish, belligerent behaviour. It’s no wonder these police men and women are so puffed up and full of their own self-importance, and have such a broad range of personal issues. The constant unnecessarily hostile and aggressive behaviour undermines the plot lines, renders the characters unlikeable, and makes for an annoying and unwatchable show. Is this really what policing in America is like? It’s certainly telling that most viewers haven’t seemed to bat an eyelid...