Rich Greiner

Needed to be rated R. This was a shame...

Valkyria Chronicles is an interesting mix of genres. The combining of third person shooting and turn based strategy seems awkward on paper, but works out quite well in practice. That combined with the unique and beautiful art style and the surprisingly interesting story makes Valkyria Chronicles a game that deserves your attention. On the surface the mechanics of Valkyria Chronicles seem pretty straight forward, if unique. Select a unit, move the unit, perform an action and repeat until you are out of actions. In reality it is made much more complex by the unit types, need for cover, and the fact that you can select the same unit more than once per turn. These simple aspects change the engagements in surprising ways. After selecting a unit the player must move the unit into position with movement being limited by a meter that depletes as the unit moves. Once in position the player takes aim manually and attacks or performs an action or simply ends turn. This repeats until the command point available are used up or the player ends their turn. The enemy turn plays out then the player takes their next turn. There are five types of troop the player can command. Scouts can run far and use a rifle in combat, snipers are what you would expect, lancers are your rocket launcher types, shock troopers use machine guns, and engineers are able to build or remove obstacles and mines and can repair tanks. There is also a tank, sometimes two, that have a variety of weapons and require two command points to use. All of the troops available have unique personalities and strengths and weaknesses. They also all relate to one another in different ways, with some being fond of each other and gaining bonuses when together. The story is a story of war, love, and loss with some supernatural elements. It touches on some fairly mature themes, such as racism, and handles them with a level of respect not always seen in games. As a whole the story is an allegory for the second world war with highly fictionalized elements. The art style, dubbed the canvas engine, is a unique and beautiful anime style that looks like a moving painting. The models are largely lacking detail but the design and canvas engine make up for it. Valkyria Chronicles is a must play for strategy fans. The unique game play and art styles combined with a genuinely interesting and moving story makes it an instant classic.

My esteemed colleague, it has been brought to my attention that you now consider the purchase of the quality title, Garfield Kart. It is with great fervor and genuine adoration that must recommend you partake of this delight post-haste. Such rare delicacies come but few times in our all too short stint upon this Earth. To deny ones self such joy is a truly criminal trespass against the very nature of human pleasure. Worry not for a lack of skill as these things are acquired over time, and you will undoubtedly spend many a night with Garfield and friends. To partake in the merriment of motor vehicle racing in such a grand manner has long been the dream of mankind. Though I have not spent much time in the loving embrace of this tangerine feline, I have been snagged by the claws of passion. Even now, as I commit my thoughts to this review, I long to be on the track, surrounded by the excitement and fun of jolly competitive play. So deep is my passion that, should I be blessed with one, I will immortalize this most worthy of racer by naming my child after one of the many characters. I seek the companionship of a cat, a doggo, a mouse and a pitiful excuse for a man more than I had ever anticipated. My heart screeches for the love of my fellow racers as the tires of our carts screech to one another in the night. The roaring of our engines symbolizing the primal passion of our hearts. Each discharge of our comical weapons a shot fired toward ecstacy, the climax of our hard grinding and bumping across the hot asphalt of the track. Though only one can be first, we are all winners in this orgy of gasoline and checkered flags. Ok, ok, enough joking around. Honestly the game is playable, just not fun. You get what you would expect from a cart racer for thje most part but there is just no life in this game. Everything is just so boring and lame.

This game is a great looking game. Some of the best looking environments I have ever virtually walked through. All that matters little if the game is no fun, however. I am glad to say Call of the Wild is fun. The progression is surprisingly good for a game mostly dismissed by the general gaming community. I bought it just to see if the game looked as good as the screen shots and to make a review about how bad it looked and played. Glad I never got to make that video because this is a VERY solid game overall. It is not perfect, however, and has a few very noticeable issues. For example if you exit an ATV when it is at an angle the camera will maintain that angle. It can be pretty funny but its a really strange bug. Also the ATV is an absolute death trap when going down a steep hill and will launch you for miles (literally, no exaggeration , actual miles) and the animals will sometimes just derp out and stand around. They will also just decide to become completely invulnerable and just stare at you, daring you to take your best shot, then attacking when you get close. Still the good out weighs the bad by a pretty wide margin. 8.5/10 Would get murdered by invincible deer again.