Owen Grady

Fred 3 is a modern cinematic masterpiece. He thinks his dad is John Cena to cope with The Pain. This is some sort of metaphor I haven't fully grasped, but one day, in a lucid dream, it will all make sense. I have the movie playing on a loop at x2 speed on my second monitor, all the time. Not a day has passed since I've considered the true depth and complexity of the sociopathic mind of Fred Figglehorn. I have committed numerous crimes. I'm feeling a light 6.

This is, hands down, the best game I ever played. The visuals are stunning, the game runs well, the gameplay uses semi-accurate space physics that make it satisfying to learn to fly and hilarious when you crash into a planet and turn into meat paste, the soundtrack plays on loop in my head, and the narrative is the best I have seen in any game and makes me wish I could wipe it from my memory to play it for the first time again. The solar system is always changing, revealing and hiding pieces of a puzzle that all point to each other and a central overarching mystery. Progress doesn't exist, all that changes is what you know. You could theoretically beat the game the first time you boot it up if you get very^847 lucky. By the time you're done you'll have a good cry that its gone and then a longer cry of happiness that it even happened. If you have a console that can play games and you haven't played this one, do yourself a favor and play it right now. A word of warning though: because the whole game is knowledge based, searching Google for the solutions to puzzles is robbing yourself of gameplay. If something really stumps you keep it in the back of your mind and explore somewhere else while thinking about it, with no help from the internet. This game reminds me of what makes video games special as a medium and makes me think of why I love them so damn much every time I play it.