Kaspar Burke

I have not heard any of the other songs on the album, but I know Real Women Vote for Trump by heart. When I first heard this song, I was in a really low place in my life. I weighed 320 pounds, completely stopped showering, only drank Mountain Dew Voltage. It was awful. I had started falling into periods of psychosis where I would imagine my fictional girlfriend by my side, but I would open my eyes again and she would be gone. Enough about that time, let's talk about the song. When I heard the song for the first time, I didn't understand the lyrics. I thought it was stupid and went back to eating myself to death, but I listened again. I think I found true enlightenment in that moment. The song is beautiful, like a melody from the heavens. The women who sung it were truly sent by God to sing this majestic song to all of us sad mortals. As I listened to it, I started to cry. Not beta male tears, but the rare tears of a real man. It was beautiful, so beautiful. Over the next year, I started working out and taking showers. After months, I was still 320 pounds, only this time the 320 pounds was pure muscle. Every time I walked outside, women would swoon. I am now rich, driving a Lamborghini to my job at SpaceX, and I have 15 girlfriends. This song truly changed my life, and I owe everything to the Deplorable Choir for writing and performing it. I only just moved to America and I know nothing about Donald Trump, but I thank him for inspiring this song.