Ry O'

The bar to become a New York Times bestseller was always a low one. But this sets the bar on the floor. To contextualise this in some relative reality. This essentially asks the question what if Prince Harry and Hunter Biden fu**ed? & start dating. Then asks you to believe such a scenario by going all out and doing no basic research on anything of any relation to political life nor any shred of realisticness of such an unbelievable idea to even aid some attempt in giving it a third dimension. Am sure this will be played on a loop in some seventh crucial of hell somewhere. Bloody awful

I’ve never, never gave anything 0 starts before. The rating system won’t allow you to post a review without giving at lest one star. Excusing this fact my actual star rating is 0 For a film to have the right to claim it’s a horror it has to be scary. It fellows by plodding along making 1hr 40 feel like 3hrs, no direction of any story that can’t really go anywhere, a monster or “it” with no motivational point to its reason and pretty bad at its one job (easily defeated with a weakness that’s never used). So vague in its creation the film is trying to use sheer bare faced laziness on all levels including dialog and pretends to present it as something clever. Repetitive to the point where after five car trips in, to versions beach visits with stints of teenagers laying sleeping like some river island editorial snaps. it feels more like a road movie. Don’t waste your time unless you’re finding it hard to get to bed, it’s very good for enduring sleep.

THEY ARE BIGGER BUT NOT AS MAGICAL. DO IT IN 4D. ITS NOT 1993’s lighting in a bottle summer blockbuster but you’ll still want to go just incase there’s 10% risk it could be. it gives action it’s packed full of it. It has the three big leads back Sam Neill (dr Alan grant, Laura dern (dr Elle Sattler) and Jeff goldblom professor Ian Malcom) it has a car crash, it has climbs, it even has restoring power, and a journey to a remote island/location via helicopter and Alan losing his hat again! The above regardless of the rest of the film will pull in the die hard fans and curios crowds hoping to recapture something new and more from their youth, from 1993’s thrill ride. The chemistry of sam, Laura and Jeff is still as strong and funny and dose give little to happy amounts of sparks of 93’s magic and sam and dern’s romance is re exploded (something which was lost focus and sidelined when poop hit the fan on the island in 1993’s ) and all given good screen time and very much equal leads along Howard and Pratt. There are alot of people in here maybe to many, but all manage to keep all the plates spinning.All if most are given fair screen time, but one wonders what the point of the cloned girls plot/story was and Dr wongs appearance (yet again) they are discontinued and pushed to the back burning, for insects ! But given where the last films left of when you make dinosaurs a normal part of life, based from the original concept of ideas that there very existence should be anything but, you miss the point of making a Dinosaur film, their profound deathly fearsomeness and beautiful magic and them as a creature entirely. Your presented with a unbelievable evolutionary concept that the worlds two longest raining apex predators/ species could co-exist with out attempting to wipe each-other out for supreme supremacy. That and a human long distance out running a raptor, something that Jurassic Park cleverly never did, with barriers, doors and Unknown object to the dinos dividing them from the human guests, because well you can’t. This is less about the warnings of man playing god and our creation tuning on us and more that man is just awful and really bad because we are breathing and exist, rather than correct the mistake, let’s conserve them and complain about us and the resolve is surprising giving the original premise of 1993’s and 2015.

ALL SHOOK UP & LITTLE IN DETAIL! If your an Elvis novice ,you’ll enjoy it If your a big fan this may leave you a little lack luster It’s not bad,See it for Austin’s performance, the visuals and costumes for which to do Justice deserves A big screen viewing. In A biopic of the king.There’s a lot to cram in and at 2 hours and 39 mins. you’d think that would do the trick but when it’s a film about elvis, made by someone who doesn't know much about elvis and misses most of the best parts and completely abandons the chance to use most of his music! Or developing the creation of his songs,lyrics and it’s process. it comes to be less about him as a person or his music & more about him well just being famous. which passes up some great back catalogs choices for the more generic main stream tracks But even then ( I mean how do you leave out the iconic jailhouse-rock performance) rather than introduce the lesser known ones. Overall The look,feel, vibes fashions, periods and politics of the 30s to the 70s are all there in full colour. Austin butler In the title role is the most impressive of all the on screen elvis’s reincarnations To date ( he should be tipped if not suggested for an Oscar) his speaking-speak easy southern drawl is fully realised and avoids the cheap impersonators trap, butlers singing vocals alone are something to behold both combine to make the king come alive, The king was a dark, abusive and mixed up self destructive person and had the story and age cert given Austin room to portray a darker more angry drug fuelled spiral out off control things could of got really fun. A protected squeaky cleaner image of the king is given, his drinking, womanising and lavish spending is skimmed over to, It by passes major events like his military drafting and venture into the movies with seconds of montage and even manages to pretty much touch surface level deep on his marriage to Priscilla, but with a 12A cert Rating for substance abuse, strong language, suggestive material and smoking (and even the N word) It’s going to be below mild. With presley family’s full endorsement they clearly had a creative say in protecting the estate and a legacy which if done right could of left us knowing more about the man behind the king.Rather than giving us some vague glimpse into the stuff we already knew. (You don’t even get the golden toilet money shot.) As critical as I was I’d see it again.

Us A sci-fi film that presents its self as something it’s not, A home invasion horror. millennial brain dead hype giving way to easily impressed & easily highly offend millennials offering them that race reprapsention and cultural diversity quota box ticking that they crave.Playing safe This doesn’t even find its self in black comedy.unintentionaly funny in parts it shouldn’t and not funny in the parts it try’s to be.A muddled story that explains nothing as for its reson or porpose .A Main lazy plot twist that Rips of H.G Wells The time machine but in this we have to believe that thier unaware that a copy of all the six billion people on the planet are hiding below. The non blinking rabbit at the opening was the most impressive thing about it.