Paul Kruyer

The Marvels”—had the franchise’s worst-ever opening weekend at the box office and people are asking, “why?” The highlight of this movie was the kittens. I love kittens so I give this movie 10 stars! One of Captain Marvel’s home planets is destroyed, then five minutes later, she's making jokes, showing how diverse she can be , how stoic and strong. I’m not sure who made Captain Marvel so OP (OverPowered) that she can restart a sun… but can’t seem to fight an enemy… and… who exactly is this enemy (I’m still not sure) and why is the confrontation diverted… I guess because this OP CM would win in 5 milliseconds and that makes for a VERY short movie. I looked it up. The villain is Dar-Benn. “about as intimidating as a chihuahua” is a perfect metaphor. You see… chihuahua are known to be the most vicious of dogs (the USPS has reported dog bites from chihuahuas as the #1 culprit) …but they do no damage. Only people with low IQ would say that the plot is a convoluted mess that leaves you scratching your head throughout the entire movie. Us brilliant people love the bazillion storylines and uninspired characters that have been crushed into this single film. Who needs Character development when you have 3 amazing (maybe) gay female superheroes! Who needs a smooth transition from an emotional moment to frenetic action sequences?! This is a superhero movie! You should be able to adjust to this as quickly as turning a page in a comic book! And don’t forget about The special effects! Remember people! There was a writers strike… let’s use that to sweep under the carpet how The CGI was often jarring and didn’t quite integrate with the live-action element. I’m sure that’s the reason! Ah, the humor, a trademark of Marvel films… I never stopped laughing during THOR… it must be why they wrote the jokes in this movie the way they did (can’t have people laughing out loud! That would take away from those trying to understand the plot). Some say it felt forced and out of place, with the comedic timing missing the mark. Instead of enhancing the overall viewing experience, the attempts at humor only serve to highlight the film's lackluster script and uninspired dialogue… but they would just be naysayers! Remember… It's not the forced diversity, inclusion, equity, historical revisionism, plot armors, Mary Sue characters, and subpar narratives crafted by talentless and ideologically possessed writers shielded by their unions…. This movie has kittens!!!