I hear you about competitiveness with moms and their children.
For me and my friends that was not the case. I am proud to say I belonged to a group of moms whose children were born with significant impairments. We were more concerned if our children would live to be an adult, if they would walk and talk, and if they would be able to learn, where could we find recreation, respite and fighting school districts. And fifty years later we still laugh, and share incredible bonds. Some children died, some are in group homes, some were able to obtain higher education and employment...still each and every child of the group belonged to all of us.
Thankful.