Jason Lawrence

If stupidity is contagious and you don’t want to catch it, do not watch this stupid movie. Not long after a weirdish plane crash no one should have survived, but sadly they did, the plane was left a bit cosy but with slippery ice coated wings (be careful Idris), a golden retriever fends off a mountain lion (I think), Idris and Kate go for a wander, cue frozen white icicles on black eyelashes, and some gripping edge of seat nonsense encapsulated by the burning question, “are we gonna die on this mountain?”, followed by a scene of two near dying survivors engaging in a scene of fetch a stick with a dog. Then Kate pushes Idris over in the snow, then they laugh, then they get a bit cold again but find a miraculously cosy cave, dry fire wood, and a lighter. Kate and Idris move on but get tired and a bit more colder. Idris leaves Kate on a log and finds a cosy cabin. But wait, that log is a death trap. It’s on a frozen lake that somehow thaws and cracks, and goddamit she almost drowns but our dreams are dashed. Idris hears the sound of the murderous log/not frozen lake consuming Kate and he runs a massive shortcut back to the evil/tricky lake and just by putting his hand underwater she unconsciously reaches up and takes his hand. Idris picks up unconscious, but aware Kate and carries her back across the refrozen lake to the cozy cabin. Then with only half a roof and nothing else in said cosy cabin, he finds a snake antivenom, and makes her not dead anymore. She has some kind of broken leg or something but comes to the party and participates in an enormously robust thrashing at the hands of a chesty, heaving, Idris. Blah blah blah. They make it home…..neurosurgeon working on hands, understanding fiancé accepts Kate’s frosty boning in a cabin, pour acid in my eyes and let monkeys scoop out my brain and make soup, this is shitter than the shittest thing your wife will ever make you watch. If I could post minus one trillion stars I would.