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This has to be the most boring revenge-killer movie ever made. I wasn’t expecting Kill Bill, but wow — this was lifeless. There’s basically no story, and what little there is gets buried under endless monotone narration and slow, joyless “process” scenes. If that was meant to feel stylish or cerebral, it didn’t. It’s just repetetive, tedious, and pretentious. For a movie about a professional assassin, there’s no tension, no real danger, and no sense of payoff. Every setup fizzles into nothing. The supposed precision and control of Fincher’s direction feel wasted on material this hollow. Even the kills are dull — quick, weightless, and shot with all the emotion of a tutorial video. I can’t believe people are pretending this is good. Maybe the bar is just that low now. The whole thing plays like an algorithm’s idea of a “serious” thriller: moody lighting, whispered voice-over, and random Smiths songs glued on top to fake personality. Watch it if you want to see a pretentious, slow-motion nothingburger about a man who does boring things in the most uninteresting way possible. Oh, and yes — there’s product placement. Because of course there is.

Incredibly meh. Not really so bad it's good - but it's something to laugh at I guess. Definetly a throwback to the early eighties. If you never see it you aren't missing anything. In fact I'd reccomend missing it. It's pretty boring.

An invisible zombie thing is terrorizing people. Only the mom with psychic powers can see it. She refuses to help until the story unnaturally forces her daughter to be its next target. You know what happens next. Yawn. Super cliche. Predictable. Slow. Corny. Boring af. Bad acting. Lame plot. Incredibly forgetable. Great to watch if you are having trouble sleeping.

No one is inside your house! Well, most of the time. I assumed it would be bad. These "new school" generically named horror flicks usually are. I mean, sometimes that's part of the fun. But wow, this is a really hard watch. Points for using high school kids that mostly look like they could actually be high school kids though. At least none of them looked too much like they could be secretly 30-something. So, story is boring. Killer is boring. The mask thing is boring and pretty pointless as even though the masks look like the kids, they just sort of end up looking more like Shatner (Halloween)/blank face masks with the dark hollow eyes. So that's mostly a wasted effort. Also, these masks would take ridiculous amounts of time to make with very little payoff. But the writing is bad so this is just par for the course. Kills are very meh and few and far between. It's obvious the people responsible know nothing about what makes a good horror flick good. The whole "the killer knows what you did" (your secrets) trope is really played out. It's been done better 100 other times. Oh, and the title is mostly a misfire as people are constantly getting killed anywhere but in a house. Like in church, out on the lawn, stabbed in school etc. etc. I'm convinced the couple moments someone is actually "Inside Your House" were thrown in just to try to justify the title. But, more than anything, something that really drowns out the movie, and you will read about in any moderately decent review, is the weird, incredibly heavy handed, woke/DEI messaging. Like your horror with a heaping helping of childlike post-modernist wierdo cringe? You better! Now, It's a Netflix movie, so you go in assuming you are going to get hit with the occasional pandering/propaganda. It's a sign of the times. But holy wow. This was way over the top. Like cartoonishly bad. It's so out of place. In like the first 10 minutes "othersensuals" are getting beat up and people are pointing out the "gender fluidity" of others - ifyaknowatimean. The first couple white people they really zero in on - one has a white supremacy podcast and the other an entire, literal Nazi, memorabilia room just off the central room of the house. The movie is flowing with the quintessential libbo boogiemen. I'm certain at least one of the writers had actual blue hair. It's so jarring. They really believe this is what the world is like. I'm surprised no one made an "orange man bad" joke or "member covid?" line. The script must have been written in crayon. Later they manage to shoehorn in some last minute "white male privilege" commentary and rich people suck "muh one percent" drool. Classic scares! Oh, and it's not long before you realize who the killer is going to be. Once you lobotomize yourself to the mentality of the kiddos making the movie, you can see it coming a mile away. There really isn't a lot of options, is there? Stay far far away. The only real horror here is how many of your brain cells die trying to make it through the movie.

Weird mix of blue hair liberal power fantasy and goofy, cliche, new school horror flick with tropes you saw done better in the 80s. Those with a brain will hate this. Avoid like the plague unless you are having trouble sleeping.