N. B.

Apparently Rotten Tomatoes thinks this is a “masterpiece.” In real life? It’s 2.5 hours of Leonardo DiCaprio proving he’s a total loser — wandering around in bathrobes and sunglasses at night, not finding a damn thing except new ways to look useless. The “plot”? A cheap revolutionary fan club blowing up buildings and killing cops until the femme fatale betrays them all and hides in witness protection. Sixteen years later, her daughter shows up, discovers daddy is still a loser (shocker), and finally decides terrorism is her new career path. Inspiring? Only if you think stupidity should be hereditary. One Battle After Another proves that terrorism, betrayal, and useless fathers can somehow be called ‘art.’ Fresh? ⭐ 0.5/10 (and the .5 is just because the end credits reminded me it was finally over).