Noah Gimenez

"BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT" IS AN ABSOLUT ABOMINATION OF A FILM, A FESTERING CESPUL OF CINEMATIC GARBAGE THAT DESERVES TO BE ANIHILATED WITH THE FURY OF A NUKLEAR EXPLOSION. CRISTIAN BALE'S BATMAN VOICE IS LIKE A CHAINSAW HACKING AWAY AT YOUR SANITY, WHILE HEATH LEDGER'S JOKER IS A TWISTED MOCKERY OF HUMANITY, DESERVING OF A SWIFT KIK TO THE GUT FOLLOWED BY A TOSS INTO A PIT OF HUNGRY LYONS. THE ACTION SCENES ARE A BLOOD-SOAKED NIGHTMARE, LEAVING VEIWERS DRENCHED IN A SEE OF VISREAL DISGUST AND SHATERED BONES. CHRISTOPHER NOLAN'S ATTEMPT AT PROFUNDITY IS AN INSULT TO INTELLIGENSE, WORTHY OF A PUNCH IN THE FACE SO HARD IT REARRANGES HIS THOUGHTS INTO SOMETHING COHERANT. IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY AND THE SANCTITY OF CINEMA, STEER CLEAR OF THIS WRETCHED PILE OF FILTH, UNLES YOU HAVE A CRAVING FOR VIOLENCE AND SELF-FLAGELATION, but other than that it was a pretty good movie, five stars.