fatbigmonkeymonster

Smurfs (2025) was a mundane, inauthentic, and tasteless film. This movie felt incredibly pointless to make. The plot seems simple, right? Papa Smurf gets abducted by Razamel, Gargamel’s brother. It’s not. The film had plenty of plot holes and useless characters that had the personality equivalent to soggy cardboard. I found the characters to be repulsive. The Smurfs did not appear to be loving, compassionate and friendly creatures. They preached kindness, yet they never practiced it. For example, the Smurfs looked down upon No Name Smurf and were incredibly condescending to him. They insulted and mocked him for making mistakes. The casting was poorly curated. The actors and actresses were imposters. A prime example would be Smurfette, who was voiced by Rihanna, while Fenty may be multitalented, she certainly was a poor choice for Smurfette. Smurfette is supposed to have a cheery and high pitched voice, however, Rihanna did not fulfill that. In addition to that, Smurfette did not have her notorious positive demeanor. She is unsupportive and dismissive, especially towards No Name Smurf. At one point of the film, she insists that he needed therapy when he was in a distressed state. Grouchy, Clumsy, Brainy, Gutsy, and Vanity are not prominent characters. It focuses more on Smurfette and No Name Smurfs. I would like to argue that there are simply too many characters that have bring nothing to the story. Turtle, Ron, Mama Poot, Ken, Joel, Tardigrade, and Jaunty the “Purple Book.” These characters made the plot even more confusing. Additionally, the Smurfs did not work together, and did not seem overly fond of each other, which definitely had something to do with the casting. To sum up everything that has been stated, this film was a quick cash grab, an utter waste of time. You’re better off watching the cartoons and/or The Smurfs (2011). I can assure you it is significantly more amusing, than whatever this contraption of a movie. There are plenty of other points that I have yet to address, that make this flick horrendous. I find that rating Smurfs two stars is generous.

**MILD SPOILERS AHEAD** Where should I begin? I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025) was unremarkable, and honestly a snooze-fest. The film kicks off with a somewhat decent and promising beginning, until you realize it leads to nowhere. I would have assumed that Ava was going to get killed, but it was a montage of her trying on skimpy outfits, and moping about her dead mother. One thing that should be noted is that this is the only time that is mentioned. This scene was utterly useless, and could of been cut, along with the many of the other scenes. As the film progresses, we still have minimal knowledge about Ava, or her friends. We later meet the four friends, plus another acquaintance, who are incredibly flat, and have nothing to offer, in contrast to the 1997 version. They are tasteless. They have absolutely NO chemistry whatsoever. We have the racially ambiguous brunette protagonist, who we are suppose to root for her unconditionally. Oh, and we got to love the her clueless blonde sidekick, who is supposed to be a watered-down version of Helen in the original. We have a weird girl (Stevie) and the two ditzy men as an addition. Their acting was mediocre, and their looks were heavily relied on, which contributed to the film’s cheapness. These actors/actresses lack emotion, and how they process their grief is..well, questionable. (Everyone copes differently, but the issue is, is that they did not even cope at all.) Blondie, a.ka. Danica loses the love of her life and crawls back to the her ex-boyfriend, and when he is killed, and so is her other friend; she is unfazed, and so is Ava. They are insensitive and make very dumb decisions, and it is unserious. (They make horrible final girls, by the way, and didn’t deserve to live.) Correspondingly, Julie James and Ray make their first appearance nearly halfway through the film. They are roughly on screen for about a quarter of the time, and it mainly focuses on Ava and her band of disaster, like I have mentioned in the paragraph above, the characters are weak. We have no reason to like them. In addition to that, the dialogue was over the top, and unrealistic, along with the setting. All the characters are obnoxiously rich, and the only ones who actually have a job are Julie, Ray and Stevie. The outfits make you wonder who let them out of the house. Whoever directed and/or contributed to the film is clearly out of touch from reality. They behave like teenagers, and I often forgot they are productive members of society. The ending was abrupt and cheap. I will not go into depth about what I am referring to. If you watch the film yourself, you’ll understand. It was lazily tied together, which was because they wanted to make another film. Sure, the plot twist was unexpected, but the character(s) motive(s) were astoundingly dumb, and made no sense. The film was nothing astonishing, and was not necessary. I may have gone on a tangent, but Jennifer Love Hewitt could not move her face, and that bothered me. (I am sick Botox being prevalent in Hollywood, but again it’s Hollywood.) In short, the film was mediocre at best. There is nothing to it, and I believe the only lesson you will learn, not from the film itself, but in general, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. We can only hope the next film is better than this. Brandy is making a return, but again we CAN only hope, and after watching that; I have no expectations. Good day.