Tatum Little

Rarely does a film come along that feels less like a movie and more like a prolonged, cinematic hostage situation. This unnamed cinematic disaster somehow manages to insult the viewer’s intelligence, waste their time, and still demand emotional investment—all while delivering absolutely nothing in return. Let’s start with the plot, or the complete absence of one. It meanders aimlessly, introducing characters, ideas, and entire subplots that are never explained, developed, or resolved. It’s as if the script was written by drawing random phrases out of a hat, then edited by someone who dropped the scenes on the floor and glued them back together in no particular order. The characters are lifeless cardboard cutouts, spouting dialogue so painfully unnatural it sounds like it was written by an alien trying to mimic human conversation. Their motivations are unclear, their actions make no sense, and their emotional range hovers somewhere between “bored” and “confused.” Honestly, the houseplants in the background had more personality. Pacing? Nonexistent. Somehow both glacially slow and chaotically fast, the movie drags through endless exposition and then abruptly catapults into a climax you don’t care about, involving people you can’t remember, doing things you don’t understand. Visually, it’s a mess. Special effects look like they were rendered on a toaster. The lighting is either blindingly bright or inexplicably dark. Sound mixing is so poor you’ll strain to hear whispered dialogue—only to be blown out of your seat by an unexpected airhorn or explosion. The music sounds like it was pulled from a free stock library titled “Generic Emotional Music for Creators Who Hate Joy.” It plays constantly, drowning out any hope of nuance and bludgeoning every scene with melodramatic force. By the time the credits roll (mercifully), you’re not relieved—it feels more like you’ve just survived something. There’s a lingering sense of disbelief that someone greenlit this, funded it, edited it, watched it, and still thought: Yes, release this to the public. Final Verdict: This movie isn’t just bad—it’s an endurance test. A masterclass in failure. If your worst enemy asked for a film recommendation, this would be it. The only good thing about watching this movie is that it eventually ends. ⭐ 0/10 — Burn every copy and salt the earth.