Clinton Heath

This movie is the most BROGASMIC movie one can ever see. I avoided seeing this movie for 12 years because the clips made it look so cheesy and boy was I right. My first introduction to the Spartans and the Battle of Thermopylae was from the book "The Gates of Fire" and I really enjoyed the story of the battle and the second Persian invasion of Greece. This movie turns historic hoplite phalanx battle tactics into one gay ballet of one on one fighting. The only way the phalanx worked so well is because it fought as one unit. Each soldier protected each other with their shields, for the Spartan the shield was the must important piece of their kit. King Leonidas has the gall to tell the hunchback that he cannot fight because he can't use his shield to protect the other men, but within five minute of the first battle the Spartan line breaks ranks and turns into a kung fu movie. With battle tactics like this no wonder the Spartan's were defeated. Next lets address the issue of the Persians. Instead of being a noble ruler King Xerxes is a gigantic Ru Paul impersonator with a fetish for piercings. The soldier's of the Persian army look like cosplayers from a Lord of the Ring fan convention. The Spartan's have been over-hyped in reality they were slave owning gym rats. The true heroes are the Greek's who fought and then went home to their occupations. Remember in the end the Spartans were defeated at the Battle of Leuctra by the Thebans. I hope some one will make a movie about the Battle of Thermopylae based on historical fact the will not only include the 300 Spartans remained for the last battle but also the 2000 other Greek soldier's that stayed to fight.